ZornSable

"Wanna see what destruction looks like? Here it is in human form—it's your boy Guzma!"

Guzma is a man who is forthright with his violent and arrogant tendencies, who passes out threats like a canvasser does fliers, and likewise gifts those he deems worthy of it an ass-kicking. As the leader of Team Skull (a renegade group of delinquents who bring mischief to the islands of Alola), he has quite a name and repuation for himself. However, while most of the grunts of the group are no more threatening than a gnat trying to divebomb your face, Guzma is quite different. The group finds solidarity in that they are seen as rejects of society, despite the fact they see it as society failed them; not the other way around. Ya boi Guzma, though? He takes it to a whole 'nother level.

He earned the respect of all its members—beyond just being the leader and founder—by being a frighteningly strong trainer. One who has seemingly not seen defeat since his founding of Team Skull. Brandishing with him bug types, which are pokèmon oft seen as weak—not to mention greatly dismissed for their seeming lack of potential; Guzma truly proves his skill as a trainer with these types. Not to mention his ability to tap into the potential of those the general populace overlooks, something his pokèmon team shares with his grunts.

"The hated boss who beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up... Yeah. Big bad Guzma is here!"

Pokèmon battles are not the only thing Guzma relies upon. There's many instances that implies Guzma is a very hands-on disciplinarian, to those who oppose him, but also his own grunts. It's clear he has major anger issues, especially if things don't go according to plan. Even more so when he fails his own expectations. Every time he loses a battle, he's been seen beating himself in the head, and yelling at himself (notably in the third person, but more on that later). Even his own throne has dents in the armrests where he has slammed his fists down in anger. However, despite all this anger, he's primarily seen smiling and laughing. However, don't let that confuse you. They are not grins or guffaws of a joyful man, quite the opposite, actually.

For all Guzma may look and seem like a fool, using slang, and carrying himself like a street thug—he's actually a pretty dark individual with a sad past. He comes from a broken home, with an abusive father. This is where a lot of his anger comes from. In his long since abandoned bedroom, he has many bronze trophies, and a singular silver one, which greatly implies his struggle to be the best. Something as an adult he brags about endlessly, whether or not it might be true. He has an insatiable need to be in control. Be the strongest. Be recognized. It's with these unmet needs he strives ever forward, trying to prove himself to everyone. Even if his means of which are less than savory.

In fact, Guzma could not care less about what others think in regards to his methods. See, since no one would recognize his ability in a positive light, he forces it through fear. He loves intimidating people, beating them down, and trampling them. No one who has lost to him could deny his strength, and it's through this brutish way he's lived his life. Well, he started living his life like this since when he completed his island challenge, and was denied the position of captain. One could claim that was the start of his downward spiral, and while that's patently untrue, it certainly was a swift kick to his descent.

Guzma finds the traditions of Alola old and stupid. They had failed him, and like those on his team, failed them as well. Even if the grunts are actually made up of people who had in fact failed the trial, they don't quite see it that way. They weren't good enough for society, and so in turn society isn't good enough for them. This makes Team Skull's main agenda—at least to the populace—to hinder the practice of the Island Trial as much as possible. If they can discourage others from it, they might be able to put it to rest completely. If they weren't good enough for the trial, no one else needed to be.

"Guzma! What is wrong with you?!"

You see, Guzma went through life trying to prove himself to those around him, trying to cut a plot in life for himself. He wanted to be worth something to someone, but it seemed like no matter how much he tried, it was never good enough. It's greatly believed that his third-person, self-directed scolding he does upon failure, is a remnant of his dad's abuse. He was never good enough for him, and so every failure is worse in his head, then they are in reality. When he ran away from home, it was after his father attempted to "set him straight". What exactly it was about is never disclosed, but the encounter ended with Guzma winning the fight, and running away from home, never to return till years later.

For as hard as he tries to be, and as tough as he wants others to see him as, in reality he wants to be accepted, and acknowledged. While one would hesitate to call him soft, he's not the unfeeling, emotionless bastion he'd likely want people to believe he is. It ultimately comes down to the fact he needs validation from other people. Since what he needs was never given, he's decided to take it the only way he knows how. Even if it leads him to be somewhat manipulated into a plot that's way over his head. He'll do anything, even jeopardize the safety of himself and others, if it means he'll get what he needs emotionally.

"It was like I became somebody else, and I finally felt what fear feels like! It was terrifying!"

Willingly he puts himself and his grunts in danger through his reckless need to be valued for his ability, not even fully disclosing the details of which to Plumeria, his second in command. Accepting to work for Lusamine merely because she was the first adult to acknowledge him. He took up assisting her in her plot regarding the Ultra Beasts—despite how obviously dangerous they are, and what it might mean for not just himself, but all of Alola. It isn't until he jumps into the wormhole, and has a run in with the ultra beast Nihilego, that he claims to have finally felt fear. Anger has always been his shield, even when his father was abusing him, but the Nihilego was a game changer. It's there that he rethinks his involvement, not to mention what he's been doing this whole time with Team Skull, and decides to back out on his side, and change.

He does eventually dissolve Team Skull, seeing as what they were doing was pointless in the grand scheme of things. Especially, when there were greater dangers at play than not being valued by society for not following tradition. While he more or less remains the same on the outside: tough, arrogant, and brash, he seemingly has gotten a bit softer after getting knocked down a few pegs by the main character, as well as his run in with the ultra beasts. Not to mention how his old master reached out to him, aiming to help him become a better trainer, as well as manage his anger.

Ultimately, Guzma isn't the Big Bad Boss he tries to make himself out to be, but instead is a man wrapped up in the cycle of abuse. Letting his anger at the unfairness of the cards dealt to him fuel him recklessly through life. He's a man who tried and failed by tradition, misplaced his anger, and let it propel him down a path of self-destruction. Fortunately for him, his path was not one he couldn't recover from. Even though he had pushed away those who he did not believe valued him—once he broke free from his rebellious shackles, those he left behind were there to accept and help him. Assisting him in seeing the error of his ways, and growing as a person.

Guzma will be keeping 4 of his Pokémon. All can grow in levels over time, but it will take a lot of training to do so. Training being along the lines of extensive fighting/battling with either opponents of similar or greater strength, or Pokémon. Probably something around 3-5 levels a month depending on how extensive the training would be that month.

His Pokémon are:

Golisopod, a giant bipedal isopod-like monster that has primarily water-based abilities other than his physical attacks and strength.

Ariados, a spider-like monster that has a lot of poison-based abilities, and can use webbing and the like to trap foes. It specializes in sneak attacks, and weakening its opponents with debilitating toxins.

Masquerain, a moth-like monster that uses more special attacks like wind and ice to take down its foes. Light and fragile, it's a more speedy ranged attacker.

Pinsir, a bipedal stag beetle-like monster, who uses more physical attacks fight. It has more physical strength, and it's less agile, but uses its incredibly strong pincers on its heads to crush its opponents.

This goes into three parts, inspired by three different bug type Pokémon.

Diamond Carapace: This draws from Golisopod, Guzma's favorite Pokémon and his starter. Golisopod are known for their diamond-hard carapaces, and so Guzma at will can turn his skin into being carapace-like. Making him impervious to most attacks, but it is not an automatic thing! He has to consciously do this, or he'll otherwise take damage like an ordinary human. It's not his entire body either, though he can do all of it. However, it takes a lot more energy to do his entire body, compared to, say, a single limb.

Spider Climb: Based off of Ariados' ability to climb nearly any surface, this is also inspired by Spider-Man's wall climb. Using the similar logic of bonding molecules to stay connected to surfaces, this is something else Guzma has to do at will—but also stop at will. He might do it accidentally, or might not be able to stop it when he wants to. It's a matter of learning how to control it, and what exactly activates it, and how.

Bug Pheromones: This is based off of the Ultra Beast Pheromosa, who uses pheromones to inspire awe in those around her. However, in Guzma's case this is more to control insect/arachnid related things (even Pokémon and sentient bug-people, should the player give the permission of course!). It will be following the typical pheromone responses found in most insects (alarm, aggregation, food trail, etc). However, this is more emotion based, and until he can learn to fully control it (via learning to control his emotions HA!), this will more likely be a curse than anything else.

For example: should Guzma feel panicked, he'll release an alarm pheromone. Giving a signal to any arachnids, insects, and what not to attack what might be causing his state of fear. Feelings of hunger might make him release a food trail pheromone, and thus cause those affected by it to either follow him to where food might be, or they may attempt to bring him food. Like the food loyal bugs they are!

Basically, Guzma is more or less King of The Bugs, but has no idea how to control any of this pheromone business at all, and it'll definitely take him a while to get this under proper control.

Guzma basically will be like a hulk who doesn't turn green. He gets pissed, and this amplifies his strength. Otherwise he has normal human strength. Based on this Marvel strength scale, annoyance and irritation would get him to Athlete level, being pissed off will get him to Peak Human, but being utterly enraged will get him to Super Human. However, his body itself is not any more durable than a normal human. So, while he might be able to dish out incredible feats of strength, he will still take damage from whatever he might be doing. Punching a brick wall to smithereens? His hand would take some horrific damage from that unless he had his Diamond Carapace active.

But, when someone's pissed off, they're less likely to think about such preparation, so this power is most definitely a double-edged sword.

Yo! Attention fellow ImPorts, it's ya boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient—or inconvenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no weakling who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought here suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, yeah?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share. Don't go wasting my time, yo. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

But those of you who got something between them ears of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe. You'll realize right quick what a good idea it is to get on the big bad boss' good side.

So, hurry it up, I ain't known for my patience.

TDM top level!

Got nothing!

PLAYER INFORMATION

PLAYER NAME: Zorn (he/him)
PLAYER CONTACT: ZornSable/ Zanono#5772 @ Discord
CURRENT CHARACTERS: N/A
RETURNING CHARACTER?: y

CHARACTER INFORMATION

CHARACTER NAME: Guzma
JOURNAL: golisolation
CANON: Pokémon Sun
CANON POINT: Right before he goes into Ultra Space
AGE: 23
ALIAS: Big Bad Guzma

SYNOPSIS:

Guzma is the leader of a team of misfits know as Team Skull. They're a group of vandals and thieves who oppose the very core of Alola's lifestyle and traditions. They aim to bring about change, to abolish the traditions so that people like them aren't forgotten nor left behind. While the team itself is seen as little more than a nuisance, Guzma is actually feared for his raw anger and destructive power as a Pokémon trainer, and of course the wild and chaotic way he holds himself does little to comfort those who oppose him. As a man shaped by his dark past, he does little to hide the anger and violence it has afforded him.

He has little respect for those who hold love of Alola, and makes a point to challenge those who dare to believe themselves strong. In contrast, he takes in the weak, the abandoned, those who do not fit into their society, those their traditions do not acknowledge exists. Gives them a family they otherwise lack, a community that they were otherwise denied, and he prides himself on this family of his.

However, his glaring flaws and self-centered way of viewing life did lead to his eventual abandoning of his self-made family. Driven by a need to succeed, to not be a failure, to be powerful and respected, to be important—ultimately lead to his downfall, and the downfall of his team. Though, through this failure did he give the lie to Alola's performative paradise, and through it did he finally inspire the beginnings of change his team aimed for since the beginning.

ADAPTATION:

Guzma will become a villain, or rather, he will continue to be one. Being a man driven by a strong need for community, but likewise one to oppose authority that otherwise exploits the underdog, he has stilted views towards governing bodies. With a natural charisma, he tends to draw people in and motivate them, and he's capable of connecting with those from similar situations he's come from. Which means he will have no issue finding allies.

With no problem breaking the law, he will see little reason to not take what he wants. Destroy what he wants. Destroy who he wants. He's a bit of an egotist, and claims to fear nothing or nobody, and would love for nothing more than to crush would-be heroes. Honestly, he's kind of predisposed to being the villain, to being seen as "bad" by the general populace. More or less, he's accepted that he's other, and that he might as well give them a reason to see him as such.

PRESENTATION:

Being loud, rowdy, and destructive, most people see Guzma as chaotic and dangerous. They would be right. Guzma does not try to hide his violent tendencies, and he's one prone for anger. While he also laughs a lot and jokes around, there tends to be a malicious edge to it. A thread of danger behind the way he holds himself and interacts with people. As if everything he says or does is a threat, even when it's not overtly framed as such.

He doesn't seem to have any shame for the more negative way people view him, often calling himself "Big bad Guzma", delighting in being seen as terrible, delighting in being feared. In fact, he goes out of his way to be feared. He wants control, he wants power, and he wants to be respected—and unfortunately, being feared tends to get him the best results.

It doesn't help that he dresses like a punk—baggy clothes, big gold necklace, two-toned hair styled in an undercrop with wild and messy white hair on top. A pair of asymmetrical sunglasses, too. All of this illustrates how he wishes to be seen—different, other, intimidating, and the fact he's a rather large dude (6'5!) on top of it all only assists in the image. He holds himself with pretty awful posture too, typically getting in people's faces, using aggressive and closed off body language, and aiming to intimidate people while putting them down at every pass.

Meanwhile, he tends to try to seem indifferent to what others say about him, laughing it off or dismissing it outright. However, this can sometimes end in violence if one is not too careful with their words.

PSYCHOLOGY:

Guzma is a contrarian by nature. Or, perhaps by nurture. Coming from a contentious homelife, his beginnings were difficult, to put it lightly. His father was a man who did not suffer failure, which greatly drove Guzma's need to succeed, framing personal importance and relevancy on it entirely.

It helped little that his father had an anger problem, and there is more than enough evidence that his father's anger at Guzma's failures resulted in abuse—one of the biggest signs is Guzma's own anger problems, lashing out at others, and resorting to violence when met with opposition—even harming himself at times. These anger problems and his inability to handle failure which drives them is greatly why he doesn't fit in with his society, which is another point of failure for Guzma. Alola is a place that dresses itself up as happy and caring, accepting of any and all; unless they don't fit in with their optimistic views and lackadaisical approach to the negative.

It's a small surprise that Guzma came to abhor Alola and its traditions. Traditions that excluded people like him. People who did not fit into their ideals, who were different—not by choice, but by circumstance—and were otherwise abandoned without the help and support they desperately needed. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get past the damage from his childhood, past the pain of it, and so he became an outsider to his own home.

Because of this abandonment and isolation, the abuse and his failures, that he's become the angry, destructive, and emotionally fragile man he is. This also has made him prone to being manipulated by those who feed into his ego and need to be accepted and seen as important. He's ostensibly stubborn, until someone figures out what drives him.

POWERS:

• POWER #1: Pokémon

  DESCRIPTION:

  Guzma will be keeping 5 of his Pokémon. 4 can grow in levels over time, but it will take a lot of training to do so. Training being along the lines of extensive fighting/battling with either opponents of similar or greater strength, or Pokémon. Probably something around 3-5 levels a month depending on how extensive the training would be that month.

  His Pokémon are:

  Golisopod, a giant bipedal isopod-like monster that has primarily water-based abilities other than his physical attacks and strength. He has a diamond-hard shell, which repels most attacks.

  Ariados, a spider-like monster that has a lot of poison-based abilities, and can use webbing and the like to trap foes. It specializes in sneak attacks, and weakening its opponents with debilitating toxins.

  Masquerain, a moth-like monster that uses more special attacks like wind and ice to take down its foes. Light and fragile, it's a more speedy ranged attacker.

  Scizor, a mantis-like Pokémon that has a steel body which makes it impervious to most attacks. It uses its rounded pincers to punch and smash opponents with incredible speed and power.

  Pinsir, a bipedal stag beetle-like monster, who uses more physical attacks fight. It has more physical strength, and it's less agile, but uses its incredibly strong pincers on its heads to crush its opponents. HOWEVER, as per the FAQ and previous game canon, Pinsir will be depowered and more or less is no more stronger than a small human child. He will mostly be something for RP purposes than adding to Guzma's team in an offensive means. More a pet, if you will.

  WEAKNESS:

  Each Pokémon has their own weaknesses as well! And while knocking a Pokémon out will make them unable to battle, if an opponent "kills" one, they will become revived at the cost of Guzma's energy. Which is to say at most he can likely revive two before he'd be close to passing out himself. This happens automatically, so really it's useful, but can be pretty detrimental to him.

  As for the Pokémon...

  Golisopod is susceptible to electric, rock, and flying type attacks. However, primarily when they strike his belly, for his shell seems to be able to repel even these attacks to some extent. So lightning-like abilities, attacks that use stones, or attacks from bird-creatures or wind manipulation are effective against him.

  Ariados is a bit of a glass canon. Far more about striking hard and fast, he cannot take too many hits from equally powerful opponents. He is particularly weak to Flying, Rock, Fire, and Psychic based attacks.

  Masquerain is especially fragile, and has quite a lot of weaknesses (electricity, rock, fire, flying, ice). Again, like Ariados, he is a glass canon but if one were made of blown glass. While extremely agile and attacking at range, it does not take much to make this little guy faint.

  Scizor is like Golisopod in the fact that he can take a lot of damage, with a steel body, not much phases him. In fact, about the only thing that does is fire, and to a crippling degree. Heat and fire based attacks are his Achilles heel, and he cannot last long against them.

  Pinsir literally has the equivalent strength of a human child. His existence is a weakness.

• POWER #2: Bug-type Powers

  DESCRIPTION:

  This goes into three parts, inspired by three different bug type Pokémon.

  Diamond Carapace: This draws from Golisopod, Guzma's favorite Pokémon and his starter. Golisopod are known for their diamond-hard carapaces, and so Guzma at will can turn his skin into being carapace-like. Making him impervious to most attacks, but it is not an automatic thing! He has to consciously do this, or he'll otherwise take damage like an ordinary human. It's not his entire body either, though he can do all of it. However, it takes a lot more energy to do his entire body, compared to, say, a single limb.

  Spider Climb: Based off of Ariados' ability to climb nearly any surface, this is also inspired by Spider-Man's wall climb. Using the similar logic of bonding molecules to stay connected to surfaces, this is something else Guzma has to do at will—but also stop at will.

  Bug Pheromones: This is based off of the Ultra Beast Pheromosa, who uses pheromones to inspire awe in those around her. However, in Guzma's case this is more to control insect/arachnid related things (even Pokémon and sentient bug-people, should the player give the permission of course!). It will be following the typical pheromone responses found in most insects (alarm, aggregation, food trail, etc). However, this is more emotion based, and until he can learn to fully control it (via learning to control his emotions HA!), this will more likely be a curse than anything else.

  For example: should Guzma feel panicked, he'll release an alarm pheromone. Giving a signal to any arachnids, insects, and what not to attack what might be causing his state of fear. Feelings of hunger might make him release a food trail pheromone, and thus cause those affected by it to either follow him to where food might be, or they may attempt to bring him food. Like the food loyal bugs they are!

  Basically, Guzma is more or less King of The Bugs, but has no idea how to control any of this pheromone business at all, and it'll definitely take him a while to get this under proper control.

  WEAKNESS:

  Diamond Carapace: This power can only be maintained for a short amount of time, which is entirely dependent upon how much of his body he's actively transforming at once. If we were to speak of it in video game terms, it drains his stamina bar while it's maintained, the more of his body that its effecting, the quicker it depletes till he's left in a state of exhaustion. Likewise, each hit he takes would take from that bar as well, instead of his HP bar. The stronger the hit, the more it takes. So, while the carapace might be able to block a Hulk-powered hit, he'd only be able to take the one before he'd be spent.

  Spider Climb: While he can do this indefinitely, and it is done at will, he can still accidentally do it if his emotions get a little high, or his mind's in a weird place. It takes concentration to activate/deactivate as well, so it isn't the most reliable power.

  Bug Pheromones: This is utterly emotion based, and while the most he might be able to control it will be trying to control his emotions at any given time, it likewise suffers from a measure of unpredictability. It also will effect his own Pokémon, and so they will lose any semblance of personality/individuality and will listen to the pheromone over Guzma's orders. Which can be its own problem.

• POWER #3: Cancellation (in human form)

  DESCRIPTION:

  When Guzma gets angry, a nullifying effect surrounds him in a radius equally proportionate to how upset he is. Something like annoyance will require him to touch someone to cancel their powers, but should he become actually angry, it's roughly a few feet out from him, but totally being enraged makes it 15ft in all directions around him. So basically, he is a living nullifier for people's powers, this will of course be with the player's permission, but anything that is from another person's powers will cease to be within this radius.

  For example, a Pokémon that walks into the radius will blip from existence (and appear back in their Poké Ball, I'm not a monster!), or if someone shoots a beam of energy at Guzma, it will likewise disappear entirely. However, were someone to use their super strength to chuck a boulder that is completely unrelated to their power at him, the boulder and its momentum will be utterly unaffected.

  WEAKNESS:

  Guzma has no control over when this is active, unless he purposefully pisses himself off, or calms himself down. The biggest flaw in this other than his inability to control it at will, is that all powers are nullified within it (though not his own, obviously), so if someone were to try to heal his injuries through their powers? It wouldn't work. If someone were trying to fly him to safety, they couldn't. It affects friend and foe alike, so it's a double-edged sword, really.

SKILLS:

Guzma is a skilled breakdancer, he is also a brawler and enjoys fighting. While not professionally trained in doing such, he isn't a slouch when it comes to a tussle, though as a kid he did study under Hala who is a professional Sumo wrestler. Which just means he has retained some knowledge from that, but it certainly is not his go-to by any means. He also has some artistic skill as shown by his graffitiing (not his grunts though, try as they may). Other than that, he's very knowledgeable about insects and Pokémon training, being one of the strongest in Alola.

He is also a skilled strategist, and often incorporates the non-conventional to his strategies. He's pretty good at reading into people's own strategies, and can predict or adapt as needs be to sticky situations. Guzma has a sharp eye, and can be utterly calculative when it comes to battling.

IN-GAME DEVELOPMENT:

Guzma was previously in MoM for a year. He established himself Team Skull, and had a hideout with them that has been maintained by some of his CR in his absence. Through his time in game, he's learned to let go of some of his aggression, and has made bonds with those he otherwise had discounted as self-important heroes who couldn't understand the perspective of society's undesirables. However, he has slowly begun to find importance in himself unrelated to winning against others, or crushing them underheel.

This was greatly inspired by his long-term girlfriend Lucina, who has helped him work on himself and has assisted him in healing from the damage done to him by his past. He's still got a long way to go, but he's doing better, he's finding himself, and realizing that his strength is not the only thing of value that he has. In short, he had started to learn how to appreciate not only himself as a person, but others as well. This, however, has not stopped his gang from causing trouble with petty crimes and vandalism, but baby steps. Baby steps.

SAMPLES

THREAD SAMPLE:

Some shenanigans!

VOICE SAMPLE:

x

1. "What is your criminal history? Don't worry, you won't be punished here for past crimes."

   Really? Y'all gonna go and ask the leader of a gang about his criminal history? Tch! Even if y'all were gonna try and do somethin' about it, you better be up for a smackdown, 'cos ain't no one gonna keep big bad Guzma down, yo.

   Anyway, ya boy here has done his fair share of vandalism, assault, thievin', y'know, the general works. I take what me and mine need and deserve, and if anybody got a problem with that? They can kiss my ass, or get their ass kicked. Maybe both, if I'm feelin' generous.

2. "Is there anyone who holds a grudge against you? What will you do if they're here?"

   Ha! Yeah, lotsa people! I'm sure most if Alola hates ya boy like it ain't nobody's business. I ain't blamin' 'em, by the way. Them dudes probably pissed themselves so many times dealin' with me, it'd be pretty friggin' silly if they didn't hold a grudge.

   And if they showed up? It'd be more of the same. I ain't exactly worryin' none about 'em. If they need to be kept in line, then I'll keep 'em in line. Did it back home, I'll do it here, simple as that.

3. "Have you ever done something that you regret? What would you do differently?"

   You kiddin' me, right? Don't got time for regrets. Next question, yo.

4. "Have you ever served in the military? What is your experience with armed combat?"

   HAHA! Yeah, like I'd ever serve in some military—first of all, we don't really got shit like that back in Alola, or my world really, and second of all...do I look like a dude who wants to jump-to when asked? Ain't no one tellin' me what to do, ain't no one controllin' me. Ain't a man alive who can.

   But armed combat—again, ain't got much experience with that, 'cos who the hell needs it when you got Pokémon? Guns're cool and all, don't get it twisted, but they can't do shit to my Golisopod, nor anything he can't do. Kinda pointless, huh?

5. "What is the worst thing that's ever happened to you?"

   This interview. Seriously, you think I'm just gonna crack my chest open and bear my heart to you like some sniveling sap? Tch, get real!

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