[Accurate or not, or perhaps because of its accuracy it's so potent, Guzma's eyes snap open immediately to level a glare at Archie. He's not sure how to respond, but it's like his body is moving on its own as he rises to his feet, grabbing at Archie's shirt, pulling him in closer than he already was. He's met with a conflicted sort of glare, Guzma's hands shaking in their hold as he's nearly lifting Archie off the ground.]
So?! He ain't been nothin' but a sore fuckin' reminder of what he ain't! That he'd still be here—that she'd be taken away from me—
[His voice wavers as he speaks, demonstrating the fragility of his emotions right now more than anything. He doesn't move to hit Archie, or shove him away. Just... Holds him there as he's trying to work out what he even wants to do with this anger. What he should do. He's not mad at Archie, he's mad at Sun—at Jill being taken away... at his helplessness in everything.
Ultimately, he's scared, and he doesn't know what to do about it.]
[ah, this is what he'd expected. he doesn't fight back against guzma.]
I'm not trying to get you. There's people here I'd far rather seen sent off... [not to mention knowing what she's going back to? that hurts.
he puts his hand on guzma's wrist, but unlike guzma's grip, it's far gentler, even though he feels a degree of bitterness at from me, like he's the only one--] Sun has nothing to do with it. Put me down, please.
[Sorry, Archie. When Guzma's like this, his scope is very limited. Hell, he doesn't even need to be like this for it to be limited, he's just less likely to try to widen it... but that gentleness of Archie's hands helps a bit. There's a notable pause from Guzma, before he acquiesces. His hold doesn't release, but it's less aggressive, like he's using that grip to try to find some sort of grounding.]
...Shit. I—fuck I know you ain't.
[The swirl of emotions going through Guzma is rapid and unrelenting. Anger, sorrow, frustration, grief, hatred, guilt...
Guzma moves, but not away from Archie. Instead, he leans forward and rests his head on Archie's shoulder. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't let go. He just rests there. The heat of the room is still high, but it seems to have stalled in its rise. Feeling more suffocating and oppressive in its mugginess.
Finally:]
...Why'd it have to be her, man. I—she... fuck dude, I lo—
[He chokes on that word, letting the first syllable barely escape him before he cuts it off. Drunk or not, that's a whole thing to get into, and he's not even sure if he can. His head is swimming and swamped with emotions and thoughts. All running a mile a minute, and the only thing that's keeping him from disassociating completely is Archie, honestly. Feeling his shirt in his hands, his hands on his own, his forehead against his shoulder... that's keeping him grounded. Keeping him here.]
[he lets this happen, though he's honestly surprised guzma's leaning on him. archie tenses up for a few seconds like he's expected to he thrown or something, but finally relaxes to loosely hook one arm around guzma's waist, the other gently resting in his hair. he figures guzma doesn't really need words, right now. in this state would they really sink in? there's plenty he can think of to say, but figures it might be best to be left for later.
[Look, he's drunk, emotional, and Archie's one of the only people he feels comfortable being vulnerable with. He just lost one of the others. So when Archie relaxes, snaking that arm around him, and putting his other hand in Guzma's hair, he soothes him. No lashing out, no tossing Archie like a rag doll—well... not tossing him, but...
There's a moment or two that passes after Archie said his quiet response, and Guzma's grip released from Archie's clothes, his arms likewise snaking around the other man as he held him in an embrace. What Guzma does next isn't thought out, it's driven purely by emotional need, and his drunken state has disabled any breaks that would otherwise halt it. Using that hold on Archie, he pulls him towards his bed. Pivoting on his foot to dump the other man on it, while he follows. He's not... aiming to be over Archie or anything, but it certainly looks a little compromising at the moment as he's joining him.
Honestly, he just wants to lay down with him and continue to indulge in that comfort, maybe drunkenly spoon him a little as they commiserate. He doesn't know, he doesn't know what he wants, or if this will even do him any good. His mind is so sloshed, and his emotions are so high, it's like he's on autopilot.]
[this is completely unexpected and unprecedented, so archie yelps lightly but otherwise lets guzma do his thing. he glances a little pleadingly to golisopod's ball, but... there's not much the bug can do here, is there? if guzma wants to spoon, maybe he'll see if he can call the pokémon out to join in later on. maybe he'll let himself out.
archie exhales, then puts his hand back in guzma's hair, mussing it slightly.
he has no idea what to do, other than just let this happen.]
[Archie's placidity is for the best, can't make a fire roar if you don't add fuel, and he's certainly not. With some sloppy manhandling, they are certainly spooning, and Archie's hand in Guzma's hair gets a shaky breath from the drunk. His face burying against Archie's neck and shoulder, arms rightly wrapped around his waist—if Archie thought he might be able to wiggle free from this, well...]
Can't.
[He says that, but there's a certain tired edge to his voice that seems contrary to his words, even if his tone is defiant. Before long, Archie might feel a wetness where Guzma's face is buried.]
Arch—
[He swallows thickly, taking a moment to get the rest of it out. Even in this state, he knows that shit between him and Archie isn't quite as great as it could be. He still values Archie a fuck ton, but their confrontation a month prior in the kitchen, Archie's freak out, and then his own... Archie's words still eat at him sometimes, when he's left alone with his thoughts, which is often enough. He screwed up bad, and he's still so lost on how to right any of it. Holding himself accountable doesn't come naturally, but he's trying to learn.
And now it's just him and Archie out of the trio, and he feels so fucking vulnerable and lost. This is why he tries not to open up to people, tries not to get close, avoids making bonds. Shit gets too real, too complicated, and he feels as fragile as glass.
[for what? he's not sure. maybe just for handling these things so badly. maybe for even showing that he's hurt at all and not just sucking it up. not that he thinks he needs to protect guzma from it or anything, but...
maybe he wants to hide it from himself too. even if nanu told him he doesn't need to and that doing so only actively hurts him.
he does it anyway. without shelly around--]
Rest. I'll stay. We can talk when you've got some sleep. [and sobered up.]
[It doesn't matter what it's for, it gives Guzma some sort of comfort. He doesn't fully understand it, but that's just where he is mentally and emotionally right now. He's also pretty exhausted, who knows when he slept last, and he's been up drinking like a damn fool. Then that whole thing with Sun, and this with Archie? It's certainly exhausted him, and with Archie telling him to rest... well, it's hard to deny that he needs it.]
Y'ain't allowed to leave...
[Whether he means his room, or here is left up in the air. He's tired of losing people either way. But hey, while Guzma's grip doesn't exactly loosen any, his breathing does seem to shift. Becoming slower, deeper, and more relaxed. Seems fucking drunkass is lulling into sleep as he keeps his face buried against Archie. Here he thought it'd be hard to actually fall asleep, and yet the comfort of having someone with him (particularly Archie) made it that much easier to conk out.
If Archie even tries to get out of his grip, it's certainly not easy. He's like a damn vice, and besides, he'd likely wake up. Something he'll do in a couple hours. There's no way he'll be able to stay asleep for too long, his mind too restless, his emotions too raw. He doesn't say anything when he does wake up, the main sign of it is again the change in his breathing and him shifting a little, a small grunt leaving him.]
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golisolation) wrote2010-07-17 11:01 am
no subject
So?! He ain't been nothin' but a sore fuckin' reminder of what he ain't! That he'd still be here—that she'd be taken away from me—
[His voice wavers as he speaks, demonstrating the fragility of his emotions right now more than anything. He doesn't move to hit Archie, or shove him away. Just... Holds him there as he's trying to work out what he even wants to do with this anger. What he should do. He's not mad at Archie, he's mad at Sun—at Jill being taken away... at his helplessness in everything.
Ultimately, he's scared, and he doesn't know what to do about it.]
no subject
I'm not trying to get you. There's people here I'd far rather seen sent off... [not to mention knowing what she's going back to? that hurts.
he puts his hand on guzma's wrist, but unlike guzma's grip, it's far gentler, even though he feels a degree of bitterness at from me, like he's the only one--] Sun has nothing to do with it. Put me down, please.
no subject
...Shit. I—fuck I know you ain't.
[The swirl of emotions going through Guzma is rapid and unrelenting. Anger, sorrow, frustration, grief, hatred, guilt...
Guzma moves, but not away from Archie. Instead, he leans forward and rests his head on Archie's shoulder. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't let go. He just rests there. The heat of the room is still high, but it seems to have stalled in its rise. Feeling more suffocating and oppressive in its mugginess.
Finally:]
...Why'd it have to be her, man. I—she... fuck dude, I lo—
[He chokes on that word, letting the first syllable barely escape him before he cuts it off. Drunk or not, that's a whole thing to get into, and he's not even sure if he can. His head is swimming and swamped with emotions and thoughts. All running a mile a minute, and the only thing that's keeping him from disassociating completely is Archie, honestly. Feeling his shirt in his hands, his hands on his own, his forehead against his shoulder... that's keeping him grounded. Keeping him here.]
no subject
the only thing guzma gets is a quiet:] I know.
no subject
There's a moment or two that passes after Archie said his quiet response, and Guzma's grip released from Archie's clothes, his arms likewise snaking around the other man as he held him in an embrace. What Guzma does next isn't thought out, it's driven purely by emotional need, and his drunken state has disabled any breaks that would otherwise halt it. Using that hold on Archie, he pulls him towards his bed. Pivoting on his foot to dump the other man on it, while he follows. He's not... aiming to be over Archie or anything, but it certainly looks a little compromising at the moment as he's joining him.
Honestly, he just wants to lay down with him and continue to indulge in that comfort, maybe drunkenly spoon him a little as they commiserate. He doesn't know, he doesn't know what he wants, or if this will even do him any good. His mind is so sloshed, and his emotions are so high, it's like he's on autopilot.]
no subject
archie exhales, then puts his hand back in guzma's hair, mussing it slightly.
he has no idea what to do, other than just let this happen.]
Try sleep it off, yeah?
no subject
Can't.
[He says that, but there's a certain tired edge to his voice that seems contrary to his words, even if his tone is defiant. Before long, Archie might feel a wetness where Guzma's face is buried.]
Arch—
[He swallows thickly, taking a moment to get the rest of it out. Even in this state, he knows that shit between him and Archie isn't quite as great as it could be. He still values Archie a fuck ton, but their confrontation a month prior in the kitchen, Archie's freak out, and then his own... Archie's words still eat at him sometimes, when he's left alone with his thoughts, which is often enough. He screwed up bad, and he's still so lost on how to right any of it. Holding himself accountable doesn't come naturally, but he's trying to learn.
And now it's just him and Archie out of the trio, and he feels so fucking vulnerable and lost. This is why he tries not to open up to people, tries not to get close, avoids making bonds. Shit gets too real, too complicated, and he feels as fragile as glass.
Muffled against Archie's back:]
...I'm sorry.
no subject
[for what? he's not sure. maybe just for handling these things so badly. maybe for even showing that he's hurt at all and not just sucking it up. not that he thinks he needs to protect guzma from it or anything, but...
maybe he wants to hide it from himself too. even if nanu told him he doesn't need to and that doing so only actively hurts him.
he does it anyway. without shelly around--]
Rest. I'll stay. We can talk when you've got some sleep. [and sobered up.]
no subject
Y'ain't allowed to leave...
[Whether he means his room, or here is left up in the air. He's tired of losing people either way. But hey, while Guzma's grip doesn't exactly loosen any, his breathing does seem to shift. Becoming slower, deeper, and more relaxed. Seems fucking drunkass is lulling into sleep as he keeps his face buried against Archie. Here he thought it'd be hard to actually fall asleep, and yet the comfort of having someone with him (particularly Archie) made it that much easier to conk out.
If Archie even tries to get out of his grip, it's certainly not easy. He's like a damn vice, and besides, he'd likely wake up. Something he'll do in a couple hours. There's no way he'll be able to stay asleep for too long, his mind too restless, his emotions too raw. He doesn't say anything when he does wake up, the main sign of it is again the change in his breathing and him shifting a little, a small grunt leaving him.]