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[golisolation]

GUZMA TEXT | AUDIO | IMAGE ✉

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[golisolation]

Oh I know what lays beneath it: a head full of empty.

[Guzma lets him whap him, because right after he's giving him a playful shove.]

Yeah, what a waste! But there ain't no fixin' you, so we gotta work with what we got, huh?

[With that, Guzma will be heading for the door, and if it closes in Archie's face behind him, that likely wasn't an accident.]

[broceanic]

Hm. I'll let you believe that.

[archie laughs at the shove, brushing his shoulder off lightly like guzma got dust on him.]

Aye! Like true Pokémon trainers, hu-- [SLAM

his sigh is audible from the other side of the door. he opens it. walks through. closes it gently.]

[golisolation]

[Guzma, meanwhile, is waiting for him to emerge with a grin on his face.]

Oh, did I do that?

[He lets out an unapologetic laugh.]

I forgot you're gettin' on in years. Guess I gotta slow my roll a lil more, huh?

[broceanic]

What was that, sonny? Pay the toll? Well, if you insist on payin' for everythin' tonight, I guess I won't stop you. How kind!

[he cackles, tossing out mightyena's ball so the hyena pokémon can join them.]

Don't be too nice, now. I think Crobat's got a hankerin' for human blood recently.

[golisolation]

Tch! What's with old people thinkin' everyone owes 'em everything?

[Likewise, Guzma lets out Golisopod. The big bug looking around for a second, before noticing Mightyena and getting into a battle ready pose—]

We're goin' for drinks Golisopod, chill it.

[Immediately he chills. Looking like the dopey bugbeast that everyone has grown to love. Guzma returns to the conversation at hand:]

Might need to get 'im a muzzle then. Are there muzzles for bats?

[broceanic]

[he laughs loudly for a moment.] You spoke to Nanu recently?

[archie doesn't hesitate to reach out to offer the good big bugzilla a pat on the head, scritching just under the mandibles. he has no fear. if it murders him, he will die doing what he loves.]

Nope. I'll just have to tell him not to eat you and hope he doesn't think you look too tasty.

[golisolation]

Hell yeah, hit that ol' guy up as soon as I arrived. Knew he'd miss me too much otherwise.

[Said with a smirk to imply the exact fucking opposite. Nanu's life would be so much better if Guzma never hit him up again, but Guzma can't allow that, now can he?

Golisopod would never murder Archie, for his love is too strong. And those scritches too good. He lets out a low churring sound to emphasize how he melts at the touch.]

He might get sick if he tries, fair warnin'.

[Guzma knows his diet is far from healthy, so he can only imagine what drinking his blood might be like.]

[broceanic]

I almost don't want to know how that went...

[HORRIFING... maybe he'll ask nanu himself. archie ruminates on this as he gives golisopod the good scritches.]

Probably. Tch. Just reminded me I can't find no equivalent of weed in this stupid world.

[golisolation]

It went well 'nough. Bout what you expect from that geriatric nag.

[The real horrifying thing is what Archie just said. He was hitting the booze hard last he was here, but honestly it's because he didn't have much else. The confirmation from Archie makes it suck that much more.]

Really? There ain't no way that can be true.

[Mainly because he doesn't want to believe it.]

[broceanic]

Sure it ain't, but I haven't had much luck.

[he grumbles.]

Guess we could ask around when we're out, but that's about the stupidest way to do it.

[golisolation]

D'ya think it's illegal here? Heard some places don't give a shit 'bout it, not that I care either way.

[Asking the real questions here. Golisopod, however, gives not a single fuck about doing The Drugs™, and has decided to pay Archie in kind. Those scritches were SO good, and so he's going to pet Archie's head with his beefy paw.]

[broceanic]

[he laughs a little at golisopod giving him pats, saying a quick thanks and not bothering to pull back from it. is that blood running down the side of his head? it's probably nothing.]

I have no idea. I don't really care. I'd bet there's some emotional fruit or effect you can get that'll blast you off.

[golisolation]

[Good thing neither Guzma nor Golisopod seem to notice the blood. Mainly because Golisopod's focus shifts to Guzma, and Guzma isn't even looking at Archie at the moment.]

Yo... that shit would be tight. There's gotta be somethin'. I like booze as much as the next chucklefuck, but it ain't comparable.

[And then he looks at Archie.]

Uh.

[UM...]

Yo, is that blood?

[Golisopod pulls his paw back in alarm, not realizing that he's the cause. He merely didn't wanna make it worse with his friendly pets! He didn't know Archie was injured, oh no!]

[broceanic]

No kiddin', right? I ain't done any shit since college, damn.

[he pauses, putting a finger on his head. looks at it. shrugs.]

Uh huh. Guess so.

[he lets his sharpedo cuddle with him. this isn't a worry.]

[golisolation]

[Well, if Archie ain't sweating it, neither will Guzma. He shrugs it off, and focuses on a matter of greater importance:]

You went to college?

[Guzma's grinning, as if that's the most ridiculous shit he's heard.]

[broceanic]

Aye! An' I was there for longer than five minutes before I dropped out!

[he flicks some the blood off his hand.]

Wanted to study some anthropological shite.

[golisolation]

A college drop out? Okay, that makes more sense.

[He's just having such a hard time imagining Archie going to school. Being some well-dressed school boy. It's pretty hysterical, really.]

Yeah? Don't need to go to school for that. People suck, class dismissed.

[broceanic]

Uh huh. It wasn't that kinda course, it was focused on... pollution.

[he makes a face.]

Guess I don't need to tell ya that I decided to pursue that in a different way, huh?

[golisolation]

Yeah, you sure don't. Interestin' direction.

[But honestly it paints Archie is an even more ridiculous light. But that's fine.

They've been standing here not getting booze for far too long.]

Anyway, we ain't any closer to hittin' the bars standin' here talkin' about your failings.

[broceanic]

Ugh.

[that's all he says there, putting his hand on guzma and shoving him forward to get him walking.]

Don't ask me about shit again. I don't want to talk about it, unless you'll share some of your lore.

[golisolation]

My lore? Archie I think that might be the lamest shit you've ever said to me.

[He does indeed start walking with that shove, shrugging it off well enough. Golisopod is following none too far behind. Looking over his shoulder back at Archie, he grins.]

What? You tryin' to pry into my deepest darkest secrets or something?

[broceanic]

Oh, yeah. Gettin' real nosey in that big bad Guz. I'll start asking about your delicate feelings next.

[he follows behind, hands in his pockets, looking around at the trees.]

Can't a guy get to know a pal better without punching bein' involved?

[golisolation]

You're outta luck, 'cos I'm fresh outta those.

[With the question, Guzma looks away, his grin falling to something more neutral.]

What, don't think you know me well enough as it is?

[broceanic]

[he sees that, and decides he'll drop it for now. gotta be more careful about this.]

You kiddin' me? I don't even know what fancy martini bullshit you go after when you got the cash. We all got somethin'!

[golisolation]

Oh yeah?

[Good on Archie, because that seems to bring him right back.]

Can't say we ever had the type of cash that allowed us to indulge in martinis—always went for the cheap, hard stuff.

[The stuff that burns like fire on the way down, and leaves you feeling like death the next morning. Shit that barely doesn't count as rubbing alcohol.]