It's ya boy GUZMA (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
golisolation) wrote2010-06-01 12:42 am
golisolation) wrote2010-06-01 12:42 am
💀 MoM IC INBOX 💀
"Yo, it's the hated boss that beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up... Yeah, big bad Guzma is here—well, I ain't, actually. Leave a message and ya boy will get back at ya. Later days, dude."
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[God, why can't people ever just accept things as they are? Why does he have to go explaining it. Can't it ever just be a simple "thanks" "no prob!"? No, she has to go asking what for, as if she shouldn't already know! His face heats as he tries to will the ability to explain himself, as he tries to steady that jumbled and buzzed brain of his.
For all he's sweeping her off her feet, she's repaying him in kind. Less sweeping in the romantic sense, and more sweeping his feet so he goes tumbling down the stairs of talking about his feelings. There's a noise that leaves him, something almost like a long suffering groan as he debates with himself on whether to answer her how he knows he should or not. His brows pinch together as his eyes squeeze shut in frustration, and maybe he's hugging her a little tightly as he fights with himself to just fucking say something.
Incredible how he can't seem to shut the fuck any other time, and now he's here grasping for words.]
Y'know, for...for—
[Why is this hard? Showing proper appreciation, and talking about something that means something to him? Being vulnerable like this. Too bad she can't see that cute nose scrunch he does when he's frustrated right now, she's missing one hell of an expression nestled against his chest like this.]
Fuck! Just, givin' me a shot—I guess? That's what I'm tryin' to say, here. Coulda taken the chance to—shit—it don't matter, forget it.
[Why did he have to say anything, why couldn't he have just left it on her feeling awkward about kissing, why did he have to say anything...]
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she would've sat up to see his suffering, but he'd hugged her substantially tighter to himself, and she was a bit reluctant to go against that. all that starting and stopping, not unlike what she'd been doing, that hammering heart...
giving him a shot, huh? is that what it's called? that's what she's doing, then? days before it was 'figuring things out.' whatever things were. this all really started when she made the decision to try and understand him, right? give him a shot, as it were. and she'd thought it was going to be for naught, considering that hostile front of his.
but...he says he can see the real her. that he can see she's not playing those games he's keen to accuse others in her position of? and maybe that's why he means more than a first kiss to her.
he's really trying, isn't he. to find her on common footing, to understand and relate. not just for a touch or a kiss, because surely he could find that anywhere he liked, considering his outgoing personality and his looks? right? there'd be better ways to satisfy that need without someone so uncertain and new to the prospect...
carefully, Lucina's arms wrap fully around his middle to lace her fingers together behind him, letting her shoulders relax. much of the chaotic energy those drinks she'd quickly gulped down was drained out, even if the lingering, floaty buzz was still there.]
...I won't take this for granted, Guzma. I can promise that much.
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But this? This made him feel fragile and uncertain, and it makes his heart feel like it's about to explode with how much its thumping in his chest. He can hear it in his ears almost better than he can hear her promise—but he does hear her promise.
Maybe he is just a fool jumping too deeply into something he maybe shouldn't. Letting her in like this when he should keep his walls up. Letting her get so close, when he should keep her at arm's length. Yet, he let her in. Let her get close—hell, he's holder her in his damn arms and was kissing her not that long ago. The alarms have not stopped sounding in his head since they first kissed, yet he's decided to ignore them. Because something else, something more important than his broken defense mechanisms, is being satisfied with this.
He wants to believe her when she tells him that. That she won't take this for granted. It's difficult and hard to, and maybe that's why he's silent afterwards, opting to just hold her like that as he tries to get his mind to settle itself. The fact she's holding him more fully now does help a bit, giving him a comforting surge of warmth through him as relaxes a bit.
He knows she's genuine and honest, and maybe that's something he's not entirely sure how to handle. How to deal with it. Not when he's conditioned to see everyone as a liar for his own safety, even if that harms him just as much, if not more.]
...I know you won't. That ain't what you're about. You're too good to play that shit, Lu.
[Probably too good for him, if we're being honest here, but that's a far off thought, and not one that belongs here. Not in this moment.]
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she can't help but smile, despite the fear of the unknown.]
I'm glad you know that to be true. Because it is. [there's a bit of pride in her assertion, because of course there is.] And I don't make empty promises just to appease people.
[she's not very keen on them, anyway. not since her father and mother promised to come back to her.
she has to give up some of that hold to sit up and lift her head to peer at him, her smile small, despite the bit of defiance against it in her eyes.]
I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing right now. [such blunt, fearless honesty!] But I like being right here. So long as you do, too, then...I'll be content with that. And...as you said before. Try to...think on my feet. [her mouth quirks a little.]
Agreed?
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As she speaks, he listens. Warring that uncertainty in his chest with what he knows in his head. She has proven, time and again, that her word is her code, so that fearful quiver in his chest has no right to be there. It frustrates him, but he's known for a long time now, there's nothing he can do about it. It's always there. Maybe it always will be.
When she pulls back, he lessens his own grip so that she can move as she wishes. Looking down at her to meet that gaze, catching that smile which warms him, and that defiance in her eyes that stills him. As she goes on, he feels his own smile start to pull at the corner of his mouth.
It's so ridiculous. How honest she is about this, how easy it is for her to say her inadequacies like it's nothing. Particularly in a situation where she should be guarding herself. Where she shouldn't be so vocal to the person who could exploit her, who could betray—but that just speaks of her trust, doesn't it? She trusts him...doesn't she?
That last part knocks him from his trailing thought, bringing the smirk to his face where it had scantly faded for a moment, and he nods.]
Yeah—yeah, I agree. I like this—I like...us.
[Hmm, that certainly makes his heart pound a bit, funny how that keeps happening.]
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even a chaste kiss like that...it makes her heart feel full. she withdraws with a pleased little smile before hiding her face away to nestle against his chest once more. she'll worry about all the logistics and...complications of exploring her feelings with a man like Guzma later. not right now.]
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He never really thought himself the type? But apparently he is...to some extent. At least enough to appreciate this. Enough that it makes him feel warm and gooey and all that overdone romantic shit! ...Okay, maybe it's not shit. It feels really good, and maybe that's just a little bit frightening.
The thoughts get silenced when she presses to his chest, his hold instinctively tightening on her again. Not so much she's smothering in his damn man-cleavage, but enough to firmly hold her as he rests his head atop hers once more. Allowing himself to just bask in the gentleness and calm of the moment.]
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[And then there's a click from the kitchen. The back door. It creaks open, and then the sound of feet can be heard. LOOKS LIKE SCIZOR AND GOLISOPOD ARE HERE. So much for that moment, huh?]
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THE END]