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[golisolation]

"Yo, it's the hated boss that beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up... Yeah, big bad Guzma is here—well, I ain't, actually. Leave a message and ya boy will get back at ya. Later days, dude."

TEXT / AUDIO / VIDEO / ACTION

Comments

[krookedcop]

No, no no. Wait, hold up.

[I'm sorry, Guzma, but you just metaphorically beat him with a baseball bat of ridiculous revelations.]

You're... Married to a man, but a woman, sorry, a princess broke your neck? Did she break it after finding out that she's dating a married man? When did you get married, and why technically? [Nanu's voice raised in volume and pitch with each successive question.]

And why didn't you tell me you married a guy?! Who is he anyway? And, no offense, but what's a princess doing with you?

[golisolation]

Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence there, bud.

[Of course Guzma doesn't sound bothered at all by this line of questioning, nor the thinly veiled insult at the end. He's just still sitting there, all calm and relaxed in his spot, like he's starting at an idiot who couldn't put together what two plus two was, and he held the answer.]

First off, yeah me and Archie—dunno if ya know him—got married right before you showed up. Didn't tell ya 'cos I keep forgettin' about it. So does he, probably the only reason we're still married, honestly.

[That...yeah.]

I said technically 'cos it ain't like we're in love or nothin'. We were just two drunk dumb fucks in Vegas, and apparently you can just get married there no problem, no questions asked—even if you're piss fuckin' wasted.

Wild, right?

[As he's explaining, he just looks...pleased as punch, gesturing with his hand to add emphasis to this and that, to wave off other things, etc.]

As for Lu—what can I say? She digs me, simple as that. But she didn't break my neck 'cos I'm married, nah. It's 'cos I was goin' down on her, and she's got super strength.

[His grin widens.]

You do the math.