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[golisolation]

"Yo, it's the hated boss that beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up... Yeah, big bad Guzma is here—well, I ain't, actually. Leave a message and ya boy will get back at ya. Later days, dude."

TEXT / AUDIO / VIDEO / ACTION

Comments

post body swap

[h2no]

GUZMA WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING BEARD!?

[he leaves this extremely loud message at 4am. fuck you, buddy.]

[golisolation]

[This is not an unexpected message, not really. But considering the shit Archie and Darin put his body through? Yeah, he doesn't even feel a little bit sorry.

It's about an hour later when he gets a text from Guzma.]

idk man it just seemed 2 fall out
look i even tried 2 fix it 4 andy check ur photos 4 the evidence

[and that's where he'll see the picture of his beard haphazardly taped to his face. Also a lot of other pictures of Archie doing various stupid things, one of which mid-tattooing of the Team Skull logo on his left pec, right over his goddamn nipple. The tattoo itself is about the size of a baseball, so it covers a good amount of Archie's tiddy.

But surely Archie knows about that by now, even in his beardless rage.]

[h2no]

Why did you get Andy invovled?!

[SCREAMING!! mostly internally.]

I don't care about anything else you did to me, but this was over the line, motherfucker!

[golisolation]

[After a moment, he swaps over to voice, going into the other room because he doesn't want to disturb Lucina.]

What's it matter that Andy got involved, huh? Anyway, like you got room to talk about crossin' lines, asshole!

[Don't think he didn't see that shit with him dressed up as Santa with those fucking brats!]

I did you a favor!

[h2no]

I barely did shit all to you! I didn't even tattoo ya like I wanted!

[...]

An' your posture is shit, bastard!

[golisolation]

That ain't my fault you missed your chance to! I'd rather that than you doin' all that nice goody shit with those kids as me, you bitch!

[Little does Guzma know, Archie's a liar!]

What's my posture matter, huh? And get over the fuckin' beard, it'll grow back.

[h2no]

[that just makes him laugh, though it's more of an angry, bitter laugh.]

I got you a new line of Guzma dolls for that, fucker!

[golisolation]

If you wanna cuddle with me, y'coulda just asked! Not go through such lengths to get a doll of me for yourself, you fuckin' creep!