[It's not Guzma who opens the door, or even responds (well he does, but an angry grunt is barely worthy of being called that), but rather Scizor opens the door a crack. He peers at Archie for a moment before he opens the door more fully, as if he had to decide whether or not to let Archie have access to Guzma.
Clearly he's decided on yes, particularly when he moves out of the way so Archie can come in, closing the door behind him once he has entered. Golisopod on the other hand, has all of his busy with holding Guzma who looks more like an angry, distraught child, than a grown man. His face is red with frustration and anger, and he shoots a glare at Archie that has less of an edge to it then he'd like.]
Y'coming to yell at me over that li'l punk, huh?
[There he goes, that's a proper response. His voice is low and gravely, but there's a fragility to it that bespeaks how messed up he is over this whole Jill thing. The tenseness of his body--which affects the entire room, certainly plays testament to the fact that if not for Golisopod's caring and restraining hold, Guzma might very well have launched himself at Archie.
He might still, if given the chance. There's so much aimless anger in him right now, it's a wonder the room isn't boiling. It is, however, uncomfortably warm, and it doesn't seem to be getting nay colder. Scizor looks notably uncomfortable, his wings working overtime to keep himself cool.
It doesn't go unnoticed by Guzma, even in his current state. So, quickly, with a glance to Scizor and then the ball on the floor, he adds:]
...Put Scizor in his ball.
[He might be mad and drunk, but those things will never overwrite the needs of his Pokémon.]
You're a grown man, Guzma. I'm not going to treat you like an idiot.
[even if guzma isn't acting or feeling like an adult, right now. archie feels much the same way, honestly. he's just better at keeping his bad feelings inside himself. with a short nod, he stoops down to pick up the ball and click the return button, placing it next to guzma and golisopod when the pokémon's fully disappeared.
he wrings his hands for a moment, betraying his uncertainty here.
finally, he decides he might as well be truthful:] I'm just worried about you, is all. I wanted to make sure you hadn't hurt yourself.
[even though he knows it's far too late for that.]
[That, surprisingly, eases Guzma. A shift that even Golisopod senses, and it might be why he releases his trainer. Guzma doesn't move, doesn't make a swipe at Archie. It's hard, when you've got so many damn feelings, and you have no idea how to deal with any of them. Then you do something stupid and make it worse...
Archie's uncertainty, clear and humbling, helps calm a bit of that anger. Not entriely, but a roaring fire turning into something more moderate and controlled still burns, and can go wild should it be handled carelessly. Guzma just lets out a defeated sort of sound, not quite a sob--he isn't crying, but there's also nothing else that quite fits. Bringing a hand to his face, he uses the other to push himself out of Golisopod's hold. Shifting himself to the edge of the bed so that his feet can rest on the floor as he hangs forward over his lap.]
Archie... why do you care?
[It sounds shitty, and dismissive, but it's not meant to be. He honestly wants to know, he knows he's a mess, he's aggressive, hell not that long ago he assaulted Archie over a stupid joke. He pushes shit too far, and he knows well how he fucked things up with that Nihilego knock-off... Yet here Archie is, checking on him, making sure he doesn't destroy himself or hurt himself further.
Jill's disappearance is a knife to Archie's gut too, and yet here he is... Cleaning up Guzma's mess.]
[his instinct is to reach out to him-- but, ah, he knows by now that his gut isn't always right when it comes to guzma. figures any contact right now would be knocked off, maybe make him lash out in anger if he thinks he's being pitied. sometimes he wonders if this is how shelly felt with him after the whole kyogre mess...]
We're friends, aren't we? [he says first off-- a relatively safe answer. it feels like a silent, unasked follow up is why are you still here, which... maybe he wouldn't be, if he didn't have guzma or if by some miracle guzma was able to deal with the loss in a healthy way.
jill would've kicked his ass if he had run away like he'd vaguely mentioned after that ergogan thing. he figures, even if she's not here, the response would be the same with this.] So, it hurts to see you hurt.
[He lets silence fall between them when Archie finishes his answer. It's not that Guzma lacks all empathy, he just has a hard time recognizing it at times. When Jill had opened up to him, he had felt it then, felt an ache for her, for what she had gone through... an anger that burned for her, for her situation, for the wrong doings she had faced, the pain she had suffered.
Empathy was a part of Team Skull, but that still revolved around him, didn't it? Solidarity built on his experience, and those who knew how he felt. It wouldn't be unfair to argue that maybe some of that applied to what he felt with Jill—in the end, it all came back to him. The silence is broken not by Guzma, but by Golisopod. There's a red flash, and the bug is gone, returning himself to his ball to leave the two men alone. It's that which urges Guzma to do something other than mope.
Guzma looks up at Archie from behind his hand, his expression conflicted with sadness and anger, but he also looks... lost. Uncertain. Removing his hand from his face, he lets is hover there for a moment, before he reaches forward. Grabbing Archie's wrist with a grip that's uncharacteristically weak and lacking confidence.]
I ain't—I'm... I'm no good at this. Never have been. I'm mean and shitty, I know I ain't the best sort to be around when I'm like this... or most the time.
[His grip tightens a little.]
But... I know you're hurting too. All of this shit, it's fucked, yo. And seeing that little shit—now, of all times...
[There's that anger again, his grip getting uncomfortably tight now.]
[he looks over at the red flash, quite startled. he's surprised golisopod actually left, not that he thinks any less of the bug for doing so, of course.
archie lets guzma take his wrist, not even wincing when the grip gets painful. he perseveres through it with the hope that holding back from any further pain with guzma won't make this worse.
it's a special kind of tribulation, having been a team leader and realised your past mistakes. hurts more when you know you hurt your team, too.
all he does when the grip gets a little too much is put his free hand over guzma's.]
I sent him packing. He won't come back. Don't think about him, alright? He didn't know, anyway.
[Hey, if things get testy again, Golisopod can still be called upon! He's just giving the two a little privacy. Thoughtful bug.
When Archie's hand goes over Guzma's that snaps him back, but so too do the words, and his grip lessens a bit. His gaze is on Archie, but then he looks off to the side. However, Archie's words don't seem to help too much, and Guzma's face twists into a scowl. His mind latching onto what happened just mere minutes ago, and how angry Sun makes him. All of that mess, mixed with this was like pouring salt into the wound.]
How can I not, yo! I don't care if he didn't know, he shoulda gotten a fuckin' clue when he couldn't contact her!
[It's then that Guzma releases Archie's wrist, and pulls back. His hands gripping his own knees as he closes his eyes with drunken focus and anger, his brow creasing with his anger. The heat of the room persisting, despite Archie's urging.]
He's a fuckin' punk—useless little shit who ain't even who he's s'pposed to be!
[he knows that right now, while guzma is still so drunk and emotional, that saying anything in sun's defense wouldn't go down well. he doesn't feel the need to defend the kid's honour so much as point out the obvious; how was he truly to know? coming to her house was the most logical course of action for him. not to mention he can hardly control what version of himself he is...
archie tucks these points away for later. he can take the heat; he's from the tropics, after all. again, he wants to reach out to guzma, but doesn't think it's right just now.
finally, after some thought he says one simple statement, that he feels is accurate:] You wanted him to go instead of her.
[Accurate or not, or perhaps because of its accuracy it's so potent, Guzma's eyes snap open immediately to level a glare at Archie. He's not sure how to respond, but it's like his body is moving on its own as he rises to his feet, grabbing at Archie's shirt, pulling him in closer than he already was. He's met with a conflicted sort of glare, Guzma's hands shaking in their hold as he's nearly lifting Archie off the ground.]
So?! He ain't been nothin' but a sore fuckin' reminder of what he ain't! That he'd still be here—that she'd be taken away from me—
[His voice wavers as he speaks, demonstrating the fragility of his emotions right now more than anything. He doesn't move to hit Archie, or shove him away. Just... Holds him there as he's trying to work out what he even wants to do with this anger. What he should do. He's not mad at Archie, he's mad at Sun—at Jill being taken away... at his helplessness in everything.
Ultimately, he's scared, and he doesn't know what to do about it.]
[ah, this is what he'd expected. he doesn't fight back against guzma.]
I'm not trying to get you. There's people here I'd far rather seen sent off... [not to mention knowing what she's going back to? that hurts.
he puts his hand on guzma's wrist, but unlike guzma's grip, it's far gentler, even though he feels a degree of bitterness at from me, like he's the only one--] Sun has nothing to do with it. Put me down, please.
[Sorry, Archie. When Guzma's like this, his scope is very limited. Hell, he doesn't even need to be like this for it to be limited, he's just less likely to try to widen it... but that gentleness of Archie's hands helps a bit. There's a notable pause from Guzma, before he acquiesces. His hold doesn't release, but it's less aggressive, like he's using that grip to try to find some sort of grounding.]
...Shit. I—fuck I know you ain't.
[The swirl of emotions going through Guzma is rapid and unrelenting. Anger, sorrow, frustration, grief, hatred, guilt...
Guzma moves, but not away from Archie. Instead, he leans forward and rests his head on Archie's shoulder. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't let go. He just rests there. The heat of the room is still high, but it seems to have stalled in its rise. Feeling more suffocating and oppressive in its mugginess.
Finally:]
...Why'd it have to be her, man. I—she... fuck dude, I lo—
[He chokes on that word, letting the first syllable barely escape him before he cuts it off. Drunk or not, that's a whole thing to get into, and he's not even sure if he can. His head is swimming and swamped with emotions and thoughts. All running a mile a minute, and the only thing that's keeping him from disassociating completely is Archie, honestly. Feeling his shirt in his hands, his hands on his own, his forehead against his shoulder... that's keeping him grounded. Keeping him here.]
[he lets this happen, though he's honestly surprised guzma's leaning on him. archie tenses up for a few seconds like he's expected to he thrown or something, but finally relaxes to loosely hook one arm around guzma's waist, the other gently resting in his hair. he figures guzma doesn't really need words, right now. in this state would they really sink in? there's plenty he can think of to say, but figures it might be best to be left for later.
[Look, he's drunk, emotional, and Archie's one of the only people he feels comfortable being vulnerable with. He just lost one of the others. So when Archie relaxes, snaking that arm around him, and putting his other hand in Guzma's hair, he soothes him. No lashing out, no tossing Archie like a rag doll—well... not tossing him, but...
There's a moment or two that passes after Archie said his quiet response, and Guzma's grip released from Archie's clothes, his arms likewise snaking around the other man as he held him in an embrace. What Guzma does next isn't thought out, it's driven purely by emotional need, and his drunken state has disabled any breaks that would otherwise halt it. Using that hold on Archie, he pulls him towards his bed. Pivoting on his foot to dump the other man on it, while he follows. He's not... aiming to be over Archie or anything, but it certainly looks a little compromising at the moment as he's joining him.
Honestly, he just wants to lay down with him and continue to indulge in that comfort, maybe drunkenly spoon him a little as they commiserate. He doesn't know, he doesn't know what he wants, or if this will even do him any good. His mind is so sloshed, and his emotions are so high, it's like he's on autopilot.]
[this is completely unexpected and unprecedented, so archie yelps lightly but otherwise lets guzma do his thing. he glances a little pleadingly to golisopod's ball, but... there's not much the bug can do here, is there? if guzma wants to spoon, maybe he'll see if he can call the pokémon out to join in later on. maybe he'll let himself out.
archie exhales, then puts his hand back in guzma's hair, mussing it slightly.
he has no idea what to do, other than just let this happen.]
[Archie's placidity is for the best, can't make a fire roar if you don't add fuel, and he's certainly not. With some sloppy manhandling, they are certainly spooning, and Archie's hand in Guzma's hair gets a shaky breath from the drunk. His face burying against Archie's neck and shoulder, arms rightly wrapped around his waist—if Archie thought he might be able to wiggle free from this, well...]
Can't.
[He says that, but there's a certain tired edge to his voice that seems contrary to his words, even if his tone is defiant. Before long, Archie might feel a wetness where Guzma's face is buried.]
Arch—
[He swallows thickly, taking a moment to get the rest of it out. Even in this state, he knows that shit between him and Archie isn't quite as great as it could be. He still values Archie a fuck ton, but their confrontation a month prior in the kitchen, Archie's freak out, and then his own... Archie's words still eat at him sometimes, when he's left alone with his thoughts, which is often enough. He screwed up bad, and he's still so lost on how to right any of it. Holding himself accountable doesn't come naturally, but he's trying to learn.
And now it's just him and Archie out of the trio, and he feels so fucking vulnerable and lost. This is why he tries not to open up to people, tries not to get close, avoids making bonds. Shit gets too real, too complicated, and he feels as fragile as glass.
[for what? he's not sure. maybe just for handling these things so badly. maybe for even showing that he's hurt at all and not just sucking it up. not that he thinks he needs to protect guzma from it or anything, but...
maybe he wants to hide it from himself too. even if nanu told him he doesn't need to and that doing so only actively hurts him.
he does it anyway. without shelly around--]
Rest. I'll stay. We can talk when you've got some sleep. [and sobered up.]
[It doesn't matter what it's for, it gives Guzma some sort of comfort. He doesn't fully understand it, but that's just where he is mentally and emotionally right now. He's also pretty exhausted, who knows when he slept last, and he's been up drinking like a damn fool. Then that whole thing with Sun, and this with Archie? It's certainly exhausted him, and with Archie telling him to rest... well, it's hard to deny that he needs it.]
Y'ain't allowed to leave...
[Whether he means his room, or here is left up in the air. He's tired of losing people either way. But hey, while Guzma's grip doesn't exactly loosen any, his breathing does seem to shift. Becoming slower, deeper, and more relaxed. Seems fucking drunkass is lulling into sleep as he keeps his face buried against Archie. Here he thought it'd be hard to actually fall asleep, and yet the comfort of having someone with him (particularly Archie) made it that much easier to conk out.
If Archie even tries to get out of his grip, it's certainly not easy. He's like a damn vice, and besides, he'd likely wake up. Something he'll do in a couple hours. There's no way he'll be able to stay asleep for too long, his mind too restless, his emotions too raw. He doesn't say anything when he does wake up, the main sign of it is again the change in his breathing and him shifting a little, a small grunt leaving him.]
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golisolation) wrote2010-07-17 11:01 am
no subject
Clearly he's decided on yes, particularly when he moves out of the way so Archie can come in, closing the door behind him once he has entered. Golisopod on the other hand, has all of his busy with holding Guzma who looks more like an angry, distraught child, than a grown man. His face is red with frustration and anger, and he shoots a glare at Archie that has less of an edge to it then he'd like.]
Y'coming to yell at me over that li'l punk, huh?
[There he goes, that's a proper response. His voice is low and gravely, but there's a fragility to it that bespeaks how messed up he is over this whole Jill thing. The tenseness of his body--which affects the entire room, certainly plays testament to the fact that if not for Golisopod's caring and restraining hold, Guzma might very well have launched himself at Archie.
He might still, if given the chance. There's so much aimless anger in him right now, it's a wonder the room isn't boiling. It is, however, uncomfortably warm, and it doesn't seem to be getting nay colder. Scizor looks notably uncomfortable, his wings working overtime to keep himself cool.
It doesn't go unnoticed by Guzma, even in his current state. So, quickly, with a glance to Scizor and then the ball on the floor, he adds:]
...Put Scizor in his ball.
[He might be mad and drunk, but those things will never overwrite the needs of his Pokémon.]
no subject
[even if guzma isn't acting or feeling like an adult, right now. archie feels much the same way, honestly. he's just better at keeping his bad feelings inside himself. with a short nod, he stoops down to pick up the ball and click the return button, placing it next to guzma and golisopod when the pokémon's fully disappeared.
he wrings his hands for a moment, betraying his uncertainty here.
finally, he decides he might as well be truthful:] I'm just worried about you, is all. I wanted to make sure you hadn't hurt yourself.
[even though he knows it's far too late for that.]
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Archie's uncertainty, clear and humbling, helps calm a bit of that anger. Not entriely, but a roaring fire turning into something more moderate and controlled still burns, and can go wild should it be handled carelessly. Guzma just lets out a defeated sort of sound, not quite a sob--he isn't crying, but there's also nothing else that quite fits. Bringing a hand to his face, he uses the other to push himself out of Golisopod's hold. Shifting himself to the edge of the bed so that his feet can rest on the floor as he hangs forward over his lap.]
Archie... why do you care?
[It sounds shitty, and dismissive, but it's not meant to be. He honestly wants to know, he knows he's a mess, he's aggressive, hell not that long ago he assaulted Archie over a stupid joke. He pushes shit too far, and he knows well how he fucked things up with that Nihilego knock-off... Yet here Archie is, checking on him, making sure he doesn't destroy himself or hurt himself further.
Jill's disappearance is a knife to Archie's gut too, and yet here he is... Cleaning up Guzma's mess.]
no subject
We're friends, aren't we? [he says first off-- a relatively safe answer. it feels like a silent, unasked follow up is why are you still here, which... maybe he wouldn't be, if he didn't have guzma or if by some miracle guzma was able to deal with the loss in a healthy way.
jill would've kicked his ass if he had run away like he'd vaguely mentioned after that ergogan thing. he figures, even if she's not here, the response would be the same with this.] So, it hurts to see you hurt.
[he sighs, looking down at the floor.]
'Specially when I get why.
no subject
Empathy was a part of Team Skull, but that still revolved around him, didn't it? Solidarity built on his experience, and those who knew how he felt. It wouldn't be unfair to argue that maybe some of that applied to what he felt with Jill—in the end, it all came back to him. The silence is broken not by Guzma, but by Golisopod. There's a red flash, and the bug is gone, returning himself to his ball to leave the two men alone. It's that which urges Guzma to do something other than mope.
Guzma looks up at Archie from behind his hand, his expression conflicted with sadness and anger, but he also looks... lost. Uncertain. Removing his hand from his face, he lets is hover there for a moment, before he reaches forward. Grabbing Archie's wrist with a grip that's uncharacteristically weak and lacking confidence.]
I ain't—I'm... I'm no good at this. Never have been. I'm mean and shitty, I know I ain't the best sort to be around when I'm like this... or most the time.
[His grip tightens a little.]
But... I know you're hurting too. All of this shit, it's fucked, yo. And seeing that little shit—now, of all times...
[There's that anger again, his grip getting uncomfortably tight now.]
no subject
archie lets guzma take his wrist, not even wincing when the grip gets painful. he perseveres through it with the hope that holding back from any further pain with guzma won't make this worse.
it's a special kind of tribulation, having been a team leader and realised your past mistakes. hurts more when you know you hurt your team, too.
all he does when the grip gets a little too much is put his free hand over guzma's.]
I sent him packing. He won't come back. Don't think about him, alright? He didn't know, anyway.
no subject
When Archie's hand goes over Guzma's that snaps him back, but so too do the words, and his grip lessens a bit. His gaze is on Archie, but then he looks off to the side. However, Archie's words don't seem to help too much, and Guzma's face twists into a scowl. His mind latching onto what happened just mere minutes ago, and how angry Sun makes him. All of that mess, mixed with this was like pouring salt into the wound.]
How can I not, yo! I don't care if he didn't know, he shoulda gotten a fuckin' clue when he couldn't contact her!
[It's then that Guzma releases Archie's wrist, and pulls back. His hands gripping his own knees as he closes his eyes with drunken focus and anger, his brow creasing with his anger. The heat of the room persisting, despite Archie's urging.]
He's a fuckin' punk—useless little shit who ain't even who he's s'pposed to be!
no subject
archie tucks these points away for later. he can take the heat; he's from the tropics, after all. again, he wants to reach out to guzma, but doesn't think it's right just now.
finally, after some thought he says one simple statement, that he feels is accurate:] You wanted him to go instead of her.
no subject
So?! He ain't been nothin' but a sore fuckin' reminder of what he ain't! That he'd still be here—that she'd be taken away from me—
[His voice wavers as he speaks, demonstrating the fragility of his emotions right now more than anything. He doesn't move to hit Archie, or shove him away. Just... Holds him there as he's trying to work out what he even wants to do with this anger. What he should do. He's not mad at Archie, he's mad at Sun—at Jill being taken away... at his helplessness in everything.
Ultimately, he's scared, and he doesn't know what to do about it.]
no subject
I'm not trying to get you. There's people here I'd far rather seen sent off... [not to mention knowing what she's going back to? that hurts.
he puts his hand on guzma's wrist, but unlike guzma's grip, it's far gentler, even though he feels a degree of bitterness at from me, like he's the only one--] Sun has nothing to do with it. Put me down, please.
no subject
...Shit. I—fuck I know you ain't.
[The swirl of emotions going through Guzma is rapid and unrelenting. Anger, sorrow, frustration, grief, hatred, guilt...
Guzma moves, but not away from Archie. Instead, he leans forward and rests his head on Archie's shoulder. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't let go. He just rests there. The heat of the room is still high, but it seems to have stalled in its rise. Feeling more suffocating and oppressive in its mugginess.
Finally:]
...Why'd it have to be her, man. I—she... fuck dude, I lo—
[He chokes on that word, letting the first syllable barely escape him before he cuts it off. Drunk or not, that's a whole thing to get into, and he's not even sure if he can. His head is swimming and swamped with emotions and thoughts. All running a mile a minute, and the only thing that's keeping him from disassociating completely is Archie, honestly. Feeling his shirt in his hands, his hands on his own, his forehead against his shoulder... that's keeping him grounded. Keeping him here.]
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the only thing guzma gets is a quiet:] I know.
no subject
There's a moment or two that passes after Archie said his quiet response, and Guzma's grip released from Archie's clothes, his arms likewise snaking around the other man as he held him in an embrace. What Guzma does next isn't thought out, it's driven purely by emotional need, and his drunken state has disabled any breaks that would otherwise halt it. Using that hold on Archie, he pulls him towards his bed. Pivoting on his foot to dump the other man on it, while he follows. He's not... aiming to be over Archie or anything, but it certainly looks a little compromising at the moment as he's joining him.
Honestly, he just wants to lay down with him and continue to indulge in that comfort, maybe drunkenly spoon him a little as they commiserate. He doesn't know, he doesn't know what he wants, or if this will even do him any good. His mind is so sloshed, and his emotions are so high, it's like he's on autopilot.]
no subject
archie exhales, then puts his hand back in guzma's hair, mussing it slightly.
he has no idea what to do, other than just let this happen.]
Try sleep it off, yeah?
no subject
Can't.
[He says that, but there's a certain tired edge to his voice that seems contrary to his words, even if his tone is defiant. Before long, Archie might feel a wetness where Guzma's face is buried.]
Arch—
[He swallows thickly, taking a moment to get the rest of it out. Even in this state, he knows that shit between him and Archie isn't quite as great as it could be. He still values Archie a fuck ton, but their confrontation a month prior in the kitchen, Archie's freak out, and then his own... Archie's words still eat at him sometimes, when he's left alone with his thoughts, which is often enough. He screwed up bad, and he's still so lost on how to right any of it. Holding himself accountable doesn't come naturally, but he's trying to learn.
And now it's just him and Archie out of the trio, and he feels so fucking vulnerable and lost. This is why he tries not to open up to people, tries not to get close, avoids making bonds. Shit gets too real, too complicated, and he feels as fragile as glass.
Muffled against Archie's back:]
...I'm sorry.
no subject
[for what? he's not sure. maybe just for handling these things so badly. maybe for even showing that he's hurt at all and not just sucking it up. not that he thinks he needs to protect guzma from it or anything, but...
maybe he wants to hide it from himself too. even if nanu told him he doesn't need to and that doing so only actively hurts him.
he does it anyway. without shelly around--]
Rest. I'll stay. We can talk when you've got some sleep. [and sobered up.]
no subject
Y'ain't allowed to leave...
[Whether he means his room, or here is left up in the air. He's tired of losing people either way. But hey, while Guzma's grip doesn't exactly loosen any, his breathing does seem to shift. Becoming slower, deeper, and more relaxed. Seems fucking drunkass is lulling into sleep as he keeps his face buried against Archie. Here he thought it'd be hard to actually fall asleep, and yet the comfort of having someone with him (particularly Archie) made it that much easier to conk out.
If Archie even tries to get out of his grip, it's certainly not easy. He's like a damn vice, and besides, he'd likely wake up. Something he'll do in a couple hours. There's no way he'll be able to stay asleep for too long, his mind too restless, his emotions too raw. He doesn't say anything when he does wake up, the main sign of it is again the change in his breathing and him shifting a little, a small grunt leaving him.]