golisolation | 💀 MoM IC INBOX 💀

[It's alarming how much he realizes he's wanted this and needed it. Not just the physical aspects of it, but something a bit deeper. Rooted in years of emotional neglect and isolation. It's fulfilling in a lot of ways, and maybe that's the alarming part. He's kissed before, he's done far more before, but it was all to fulfill something else. Not that there wasn't some baseline emotional stimuli from the acts, but it's...decidedly different.

Here, with her, he feels a bond forming. Something deeper than baseline attraction and sexual need, but something emotionally and romantically charged. This makes the kiss deeper and more passionate than he might have initially meant to be. Her reciprocation (the small break for breaths notwithstanding) fuels this desire all the more. That arm around her holding her more tightly, but not too tightly. Her hand on his chest ignites this even further, and so it's a small surprise that she'll feel his lips part, as his tongue prods against her own.

The hand that's been resting on her knee scales upwards, settling on her hip as he continues to hold and kiss her like this.]

[Lucina makes a faint sound of surprise, still so new as she is to this kind of intimacy as to not have been ready to expect it. she braces against the feeling, somewhat frightened by the unknown, and by how easily he can manipulate her in such a way. it’s so fascinating, though...even just the slightest touch on her leg causes such a sensation, too...!

it wasn’t a fluke, then. that feeling at the infirmary... she’s relieved — grateful, even, that she’d not made such a terrible mistake, all because she’s new to this.

still, when she can catch a breath, she breaks freer, taken by a feeling of shame. her fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt as she dips her head, letting out a shaky exhale before peeking back up at him with a timid smile on her flushed face.]

I-I’m not very...I mean...like I said before, I’ve never...

[The proof that what happened between them was true indeed is what drives this so deeply into his mind. That this...connecticity between them and her continued acceptance of him makes his heart pound, and an electric-like wave pulse through him. Settling in places one might expect in a hot-blooded guy like him.

However, when she breaks away, not only catching breath but allowing herself to speak, he gives her a smile. Something more intimate than his usual smirks. His face is likewise heated, and he's feeling grossly vulnerable.]

S'fine. I know.

[It does put him in an odd position, because he can be a bit assertive with these things, but he also...isn't the type to do so when it's unwanted. With women, or maybe it's mainly been Lusamine, he's found himself more passive, yet he feels the urge to initiate with her. Maybe it's because from her lack of confidence--that he wants to lead her, but not to anywhere she doesn't want. There's something exciting about it, but not because of anything malicious.]

If I do shit you ain't feelin', just lemme know, yeah? Ain't no point if you don't want it.

[So much for being a "bad" dude, huh?]

[the smile he gives her leaves her feeling weak. her own mouth quirks in turn, and she bites on her lip as he offers his assurance. his word — something that she could trust now.

her fingers uncurl and relax on his chest as she nods, still needing to try and wrangle some of her stirred-up nerves. part of her is still afraid, yes, but Lucina is also a person moved by impulse.

she likes the way he looks at her. she likes the weight of his arm over her, the hand at her hip. it’s not just that fresh, new feeling he incites in her, because that’s there in spades. it’s that sense of assurance and security that she always yearns for, something she sees people she loves have...that she lacks. lacked? it seems...]

Alright. Just... [don’t laugh at me? her eyes wince, despite her meek smile.] Don’t get too...carried away. Okay?

[she’s definitely not ready for that. but...the way he kisses and holds her? she really likes that.]

[For all Guzma is a chaotic sort of dude, that's not the case with his loyalties. Not that...he's incapable of breaking trust, or loyalties, he can and he will, but the impetus of such must be greater than them, and that's no easy feat.

Such uncertainty in her and yet the trust she's putting into him despite it all... It's energizing, to say the least. She feels right in his arms, and holding her makes him feel both secure, yet vulnerable. This sort of intimacy and closeness is rare for him, and despite the fact it makes his heart quiver, he doesn't want to back away from it.

He's not sure if its the alcohol that's giving him that extra push to be like this, or if it's just straight up his own desire, but he's not questioning it. He's just going to ride this out.]

I won't, yo. Your boy can control himself.

[After all, did he not chase after Lusamine for two damn years, and the only affection he got was her honeyed words that kept him complacent? Just enough to keep him obedient and hopeful, but never enough to truly satisfy. There is a conflict in him about that, actually. About Lusamine. A feeling of betrayal, in a sense, yet the intricacies of such are a little lost on him.

Once he goes back, it's like none of this mattered, right? Is it truly a betrayal, then? But, at the same time, it's not like they were actually an item...ugh. As his brain starts to trail down this path, there's a conflicted look on his face, the alcohol not helping at all in hiding it. It's not helping him at all with thinking about it neither.

He tries to push past it, though, hoping Lucina didn't notice that weird shift as he goes to brush another kiss to her lips.]

[your boy? should she wonder on that more? about the way his brow pinches for the moment before he moves to kiss her once more? so much new information to process all at once...and yet all her fool mind can fixate on is the nice way it feels to be near him. such worries are better left for troubled sleep and second-guessing in hours alone.

she welcomes his kiss again, more easily coaxed to open her mouth to it, instinctively leaning herself closer to settle more comfortably in the hold he offers. eventually, her hand moves to settle on his shoulder, gently squeezing at it in response to favorable feelings.

after a point, her head is tilted up and she just happens to to just barely open her eyes and sees...

well.

hi, Ariados.

her mouth twitches, stifling a sound before she has to break away and duck her head to stifle an embarrassed laugh, bringing a hand to her face.]

[He's relieved when the kiss goes on without stalling, mainly because he was worried that his face betrayed his innermost thoughts, and that she might ask about it. Instead, she accepts and reciprocates and that helps placate his troubled mind. How close she is to him, feel hand resting on his shoulder, coaxing himself closer as he leans into her touch, into that squeeze.

That is, until she suddenly breaks away and ducks her head. Guzma's left just staring blankly at her, confused and bewildered. He blinks, looks around, and then looks up—

Ah.]

Yo, you gotta be gawkin' at us like this?! Go hang with Masquerain or somethin', man!

[He's not mad, but he's not exactly happy that Ariados didn't take a big enough hint to vacate once they started getting all up in each other's grill. Literally. Ariados just huffs, and marches across the ceiling to the stairs once again.

Guzma's smirking, and shaking his head, his eyes going back to Lucina.]

Sometimes them dudes just ain't got a clue, huh?

[Lucina snickers behind her hand, embarrassed beyond words and unable to look up at all to save face. gods, so many new things all at once, yet not a one at all terrible...it's really a pretty unprecedented thing for her. for how light and strange she feels, she might float away if she's not careful. for her to be kissing anyone at all is still so...!]

I, I don't blame him... [she clears her throat, moving her hand away. she still can't bring herself to look back up, instead leaning against his chest, her arms moving partway to embracing his middle, but stopping short, still unsure of her boundaries.] For how ridiculous I must look...!

[As she leans into his chest, he can feel that flutter inside of it. That all encompassing warmth that seemingly radiates from her, into him. Particularly when her arms move to encircle his midsection, and maybe there's the slightest pang of disappointment she doesn't fully. But it's enough, he won't complain. He merely continues to hold her in his arms, resting his head against the top of hers. Breathing in the scent of her hair as he subconsciously nestles his nose against it.]

Tch, nah. You ain't lookin' ridiculous. No more than anyone else does when they're kissin'.

[Which, he's sure to a lot of Pokémon seems like such a bizarre and weird thing to do. Maybe especially for bugs.]

You're good at that, by the way.

[the compliment tickles her, kind of the way the weight of his hands on her do. it makes her want to squirm a little, but that risks disrupting the comfort she's already gotten. she bites her lip, holding a breath for a minute to listen to the way his words sound with an ear against his chest, spoken in a tempo far calmer than the drumming she can hear. that means he feels similar to the way she does, doesn't it? there's a bit of a thrill in that she can't really grasp.]

...Thanks. [gods, she still feels so silly. honestly, accepting a compliment for something like that?! hardly something she'd have ever considered. a lot of this right now is, though...]

I, ah...I quite like it. Even if I...don't really know what I'm doing. [she hides her face a bit further against his chest, muffling herself, as if that makes what she says and feels less silly.] I thought about it a lot. For that week...

[the week when she was supposed to be doing proper soul searching, not sitting up fantasizing about a kiss with a guy who was ready to die before accepting a band-aid!]

[He can't help but be endeared by her starting and stopping. The way she trips over her words as she tries to admit something so simple. At least to him it is. It's such a contrast to how she holds herself in a fight, physical or verbal. Maybe that's why he finds it charming, instead of frustrating. He's attracted to power and confidence, and she does have both, yet she's so vulnerable in this situation. In this relationship with him.]

Mmm, yeah? Well, you ain't alone there—in liking it and thinkin' about it, I definitely know what I'm doing, yo.

[There's that ego of his, but his tone is more playfully egotistical and confident, than anything meant to make her feel inadequate.

Though, admittedly, it wasn't just the kiss he was thinking about for that week...but he's a nasty goblin, so small surprise there. His mind just...goes places. HOWEVER, to his credit, there was a lot of thoughts about his feelings towards her, and what all of it meant. It's why, ultimately, he did reach out to her. Why he wanted to pursue this.

If it were just a passing fancy, that'd be one thing, he could get over that easily. He just knew it was something more.]

...Uh, thanks...by the way.

[Now it's his turn to sound a bit awkward. That alcohol is still giving him some loose lips it seems.]

[what he's doing-- gods, does he? does he actually know what he's doing to her? making her feel like this? and so easily... not that she's worked too terribly hard to fight it, of course. but still. all he'd needed was one softened look, one careful move of his hand, and all of this had come crashing into place to the present. she can't really fathom her role in it beyond being so easily swayed, and that's part of what makes things scary.

and now a thank-you? unpredictable things just keep on coming.]

...What for?

Uh...

[God, why can't people ever just accept things as they are? Why does he have to go explaining it. Can't it ever just be a simple "thanks" "no prob!"? No, she has to go asking what for, as if she shouldn't already know! His face heats as he tries to will the ability to explain himself, as he tries to steady that jumbled and buzzed brain of his.

For all he's sweeping her off her feet, she's repaying him in kind. Less sweeping in the romantic sense, and more sweeping his feet so he goes tumbling down the stairs of talking about his feelings. There's a noise that leaves him, something almost like a long suffering groan as he debates with himself on whether to answer her how he knows he should or not. His brows pinch together as his eyes squeeze shut in frustration, and maybe he's hugging her a little tightly as he fights with himself to just fucking say something.

Incredible how he can't seem to shut the fuck any other time, and now he's here grasping for words.]

Y'know, for...for—

[Why is this hard? Showing proper appreciation, and talking about something that means something to him? Being vulnerable like this. Too bad she can't see that cute nose scrunch he does when he's frustrated right now, she's missing one hell of an expression nestled against his chest like this.]

Fuck! Just, givin' me a shot—I guess? That's what I'm tryin' to say, here. Coulda taken the chance to—shit—it don't matter, forget it.

[Why did he have to say anything, why couldn't he have just left it on her feeling awkward about kissing, why did he have to say anything...]

[oh...

she would've sat up to see his suffering, but he'd hugged her substantially tighter to himself, and she was a bit reluctant to go against that. all that starting and stopping, not unlike what she'd been doing, that hammering heart...

giving him a shot, huh? is that what it's called? that's what she's doing, then? days before it was 'figuring things out.' whatever things were. this all really started when she made the decision to try and understand him, right? give him a shot, as it were. and she'd thought it was going to be for naught, considering that hostile front of his.

but...he says he can see the real her. that he can see she's not playing those games he's keen to accuse others in her position of? and maybe that's why he means more than a first kiss to her.

he's really trying, isn't he. to find her on common footing, to understand and relate. not just for a touch or a kiss, because surely he could find that anywhere he liked, considering his outgoing personality and his looks? right? there'd be better ways to satisfy that need without someone so uncertain and new to the prospect...

carefully, Lucina's arms wrap fully around his middle to lace her fingers together behind him, letting her shoulders relax. much of the chaotic energy those drinks she'd quickly gulped down was drained out, even if the lingering, floaty buzz was still there.]

...I won't take this for granted, Guzma. I can promise that much.

[He feels like such an idiot right now, all jumbled and weird. He's never been good at these kinds of feelings. Anger? Frustration? Disdain? All of those were things he was far more familiar with. Far more comfortable showing to anyone and everyone. It made him feel powerful, feared, untouchable.

But this? This made him feel fragile and uncertain, and it makes his heart feel like it's about to explode with how much its thumping in his chest. He can hear it in his ears almost better than he can hear her promise—but he does hear her promise.

Maybe he is just a fool jumping too deeply into something he maybe shouldn't. Letting her in like this when he should keep his walls up. Letting her get so close, when he should keep her at arm's length. Yet, he let her in. Let her get close—hell, he's holder her in his damn arms and was kissing her not that long ago. The alarms have not stopped sounding in his head since they first kissed, yet he's decided to ignore them. Because something else, something more important than his broken defense mechanisms, is being satisfied with this.

He wants to believe her when she tells him that. That she won't take this for granted. It's difficult and hard to, and maybe that's why he's silent afterwards, opting to just hold her like that as he tries to get his mind to settle itself. The fact she's holding him more fully now does help a bit, giving him a comforting surge of warmth through him as relaxes a bit.

He knows she's genuine and honest, and maybe that's something he's not entirely sure how to handle. How to deal with it. Not when he's conditioned to see everyone as a liar for his own safety, even if that harms him just as much, if not more.]

...I know you won't. That ain't what you're about. You're too good to play that shit, Lu.

[Probably too good for him, if we're being honest here, but that's a far off thought, and not one that belongs here. Not in this moment.]

[if there's anything Lucina can really understand, it's taking on responsibility. maybe not understanding the entire scope? but she's well trained to bear a burden or five. she doesn't rightly know the weight of a wary heart like Guzma's, but it won't stop her from being willing to shoulder it, protect it. if it means having him look at her with that smile again, to kiss her and mean it, and know her... it's well worth the weight.

she can't help but smile, despite the fear of the unknown.]

I'm glad you know that to be true. Because it is. [there's a bit of pride in her assertion, because of course there is.] And I don't make empty promises just to appease people.

[she's not very keen on them, anyway. not since her father and mother promised to come back to her.

she has to give up some of that hold to sit up and lift her head to peer at him, her smile small, despite the bit of defiance against it in her eyes.]

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing right now. [such blunt, fearless honesty!] But I like being right here. So long as you do, too, then...I'll be content with that. And...as you said before. Try to...think on my feet. [her mouth quirks a little.]

Agreed?

[His heart is like a hurricane: turbulent, chaotic, and destructive. But, if she's willing to brave that, then she'll certainly find herself at the eye. Where that gentleness is hidden from everyone on the outside. Perhaps she would be better off pursuing someone less dangerous, less...dysfunctional, but sometimes that's just not how these things go. Storm chasers don't choose their love of storms, it's just who they are, and they can either embrace it, or ignore it. One choice leads to dangerous fulfillment, and the other leads to careful monotony.

As she speaks, he listens. Warring that uncertainty in his chest with what he knows in his head. She has proven, time and again, that her word is her code, so that fearful quiver in his chest has no right to be there. It frustrates him, but he's known for a long time now, there's nothing he can do about it. It's always there. Maybe it always will be.

When she pulls back, he lessens his own grip so that she can move as she wishes. Looking down at her to meet that gaze, catching that smile which warms him, and that defiance in her eyes that stills him. As she goes on, he feels his own smile start to pull at the corner of his mouth.

It's so ridiculous. How honest she is about this, how easy it is for her to say her inadequacies like it's nothing. Particularly in a situation where she should be guarding herself. Where she shouldn't be so vocal to the person who could exploit her, who could betray—but that just speaks of her trust, doesn't it? She trusts him...doesn't she?

That last part knocks him from his trailing thought, bringing the smirk to his face where it had scantly faded for a moment, and he nods.]

Yeah—yeah, I agree. I like this—I like...us.

[Hmm, that certainly makes his heart pound a bit, funny how that keeps happening.]

[us has an emphasis that gives Lucina another quiet thrill, her eyes widening. she very much feels a want to kiss him again, so...she does, impressing with it much of the relief she feels in finding common ground in something like this.

even a chaste kiss like that...it makes her heart feel full. she withdraws with a pleased little smile before hiding her face away to nestle against his chest once more. she'll worry about all the logistics and...complications of exploring her feelings with a man like Guzma later. not right now.]

[The kiss surprises him, considering that he's been the main instigator of such, but even chaste and quick as it is, it's satisfying. God, he feels so ridiculous, that such little gestures of affection are impacting him like this.

He never really thought himself the type? But apparently he is...to some extent. At least enough to appreciate this. Enough that it makes him feel warm and gooey and all that overdone romantic shit! ...Okay, maybe it's not shit. It feels really good, and maybe that's just a little bit frightening.

The thoughts get silenced when she presses to his chest, his hold instinctively tightening on her again. Not so much she's smothering in his damn man-cleavage, but enough to firmly hold her as he rests his head atop hers once more. Allowing himself to just bask in the gentleness and calm of the moment.]

[And then there's a click from the kitchen. The back door. It creaks open, and then the sound of feet can be heard. LOOKS LIKE SCIZOR AND GOLISOPOD ARE HERE. So much for that moment, huh?]

[MORAL OF THE STORY: don't have Feelings w/someone when ur house is full of cute giant bugs because that girl is gonna peel away to go fawn on them and leave u to fester in those Feelings RIP

THE END]

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