It's ya boy GUZMA (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
golisolation) wrote2010-06-01 12:42 am
golisolation) wrote2010-06-01 12:42 am
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"Yo, it's the hated boss that beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up... Yeah, big bad Guzma is here—well, I ain't, actually. Leave a message and ya boy will get back at ya. Later days, dude."
TEXT / AUDIO / VIDEO / ACTION
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[He doesn't answer that question immediately, instead making his way towards the couch so that he can ease himself down onto it. Honestly, it's a little pathetic how he has to move with that brace on his neck. He feels like an idiot, but at the same time doesn't regret what got him here.
Once settle, one arm resting on the back, man spreading like the douchebag idiot he is, he raises an eyebrow at Nanu.]
That you ain't the one who I'm seein', obviously.
[He really...doesn't know if Nanu's actually into men or not, but he likes to poke fun at the older man never seeming to be romantically involved with...anyone. He knows that it can sometimes be a sign of something—either being in the closet or depressed.
Tragically both, more often than not.]
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[Little bastard. So what if he was gay and depressed? Guzma didn't have to go acting like he knew anything.]
Didn't know I was even in the running. So who's the lucky man, then?
[Nanu looked irritated, but he usually looked irritated. And if he was going to suffer this from Guzma, he may as well be a little buzzed. But he wanted to see if his jab connected before he ducked back out.]
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[Well, at least you typically get drunk faster drinking through a straw, or something. At Nanu's assumption that he's dating a dude, he lets out a chuckle, waving at him dismissively.]
You weren't, but who knows what's goin' on in that ancient head of yours, huh? Ain't no dude, though.
[A beat.]
WELL! I guess I am technically married to one. [MOVING ON] Anyway, he ain't who broke my neck. A chick did, doubt you know her, name's Lucina—she's a princess.
[As he says the last word, he bounces his eyebrows. His tone of voice so smarmy, it's almost filthy.]
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[I'm sorry, Guzma, but you just metaphorically beat him with a baseball bat of ridiculous revelations.]
You're... Married to a man, but a woman, sorry, a princess broke your neck? Did she break it after finding out that she's dating a married man? When did you get married, and why technically? [Nanu's voice raised in volume and pitch with each successive question.]
And why didn't you tell me you married a guy?! Who is he anyway? And, no offense, but what's a princess doing with you?
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[Of course Guzma doesn't sound bothered at all by this line of questioning, nor the thinly veiled insult at the end. He's just still sitting there, all calm and relaxed in his spot, like he's starting at an idiot who couldn't put together what two plus two was, and he held the answer.]
First off, yeah me and Archie—dunno if ya know him—got married right before you showed up. Didn't tell ya 'cos I keep forgettin' about it. So does he, probably the only reason we're still married, honestly.
[That...yeah.]
I said technically 'cos it ain't like we're in love or nothin'. We were just two drunk dumb fucks in Vegas, and apparently you can just get married there no problem, no questions asked—even if you're piss fuckin' wasted.
Wild, right?
[As he's explaining, he just looks...pleased as punch, gesturing with his hand to add emphasis to this and that, to wave off other things, etc.]
As for Lu—what can I say? She digs me, simple as that. But she didn't break my neck 'cos I'm married, nah. It's 'cos I was goin' down on her, and she's got super strength.
[His grin widens.]
You do the math.