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[golisolation]

"Yo, it's the hated boss that beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up... Yeah, big bad Guzma is here—well, I ain't, actually. Leave a message and ya boy will get back at ya. Later days, dude."

TEXT / AUDIO / VIDEO / ACTION

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[golisolation]

[Well! He always loves messages from Lucina, but especially upbeat ones! He'd have picked up at first but he was busy uh...doing some illegal things. It doesn't matter, because he's calling her back.

When she answers, he too sounds like he's in a good mood.]

Yo, Lu! What's up?

[fauxmarth]

[GUZ..........................................................]

Ah! Hello! Greetings! I wanted to tell you-- I managed to secure more than half the money we'd need to bid on a house. And not from a lender! An actual up-front, paying job. I've already been given a check for half of that today!

[golisolation]

[Guzma's silent for a long moment, because...well...his mind isn't going to a good place for what kind of job she'd have to get that kind of money. Maybe because he was doing his own kind of shady work to secure funds. He glances to the dufflebag full of...illegal substance at his side.]

...You didn't, uh, abandon any of your morals. [ahem] To-uh, secure this money. Didja?

[fauxmarth]

Huh? No? [?? ?? what is he talking about?] No, it's an appearance at a fundraiser!

Abandon my morals? What on earth are you thinking?

[golisolation]

Oh.

[Wow, where his mind went was way less...wholesome.]

It don't matter. [ATTEMPTING TO MOVE ALONG] Man, though, ain't the point of those things to put money towards the cause, not buy celebrity appearances?

[fauxmarth]

[uh...huh.....

well....]

That's what I said! Actually, that's almost exactly what I said, but the businessman said that my presence there would bring in more money than his own wallet? I think that's awful presumptuous, but...also...well, we would be better off with a bit more cash...

[and Owain's TV earnings didn't last forever! so...]

[golisolation]

Yeah, I'm sure your appearance will be saving his wallet, but whatever. If it works for us, I don't really care.

[He could say a thing or two about charities, especially those ran by rich people, but he'll save it. Lucina seems happy with this, and it's helping them get to their goal, so.]

When is it? And what's it for—like what kinda charity?

[fauxmarth]

For the public library. There's going to be a kind of tea social held with the proceeds benefiting some renovations, I'm told. Truly, I wouldn't mind appearing without pay for such a worthy cause, but the man was insistent! [she doesn't know why.

beat.

oh!]

Oh, and I hear it's to be themed! I'll get a costume to match. He told me if I brought a friend they could earn much the same, so long as they were an imPort as well. I was thinking about asking Jaime, so that perhaps he could take some time off from his busy car repair work...but when I suggested him it didn't land with as much of a splash.

[golisolation]

A costume?

[He sounds...suspicious, but he doesn't air any worries.]

I dunno who Jaime is, but if you need someone to come along... [It's good this is a phone call, because she can't see his pained expression as he pinches the bridge of his nose.]

I could...go with ya...if you wanted.

[fauxmarth]

[!]

Really? You wouldn't mind? I didn't even think to ask, because I just assumed it wouldn't interest you...

[golisolation]

It don't, but...it'd get us the full amount, wouldn't it?

[And what's one shitty charity event to secure them a home, huh?]

I can deal with shit that ain't an interest to me if the price is right.

[fauxmarth]

Well...it would, yes. But I don't want to put you though anything that would be troublesome for you.

If you are sure, though... [a bit bashful:] I think it could be a lot of fun. Working together, I mean.

[golisolation]

I think it'd be more troublesome to pass up somethin' like this, huh?

[But man does she sound cute saying that. Augh.]

You're right, it could be. Heh, ain't like we get much of a chance otherwise, right?

[What with being a criminal and a hero and all...]

[fauxmarth]

Not without abandoning our morals, right?

[golisolation]

...

[...]

Right. Which you'd never do, and I realize that.

[But he doesn't include himself in that, but then again, what morals does he really have, truly...]

[fauxmarth]

[there's an appraising sound, but after a beat, she seems satisfied with that.]

Good! Then, I'll contact that businessman and let him know he'll have two guests for this social event. The only thing we have to provide beforehand are measurements.

[golisolation]

[He lets out a relieved sigh at her letting it go. He really didn't want to admit his immediate worry was that she might be doing something like sucking dick for that amount of money. Not that he thinks she would, but!! That's a LOT OF MONEY!!]

Huh. Don't think I know my measurements.

[fauxmarth]

No? Well, I can help! I have a measuring tape left over from when Allura and I helped model some clothes back in the fall. It won't take long at all.

[beat.

thoughtfully:] I bet we could measure the Pokemon, too, if you ever wanted to get them something custom-made...

[golisolation]

...Where didja model those clothes, huh?

[He wants to know for...reasons.]

That'd be real cute, huh? Can you imagine Masquerain in a li'l suit? Pff...

[fauxmarth]

Oh-- there's a sewing club at one of the community centers. In exchange for helping Allura and I design our Halloween dresses, we agreed to model some of their other designs. It was quite fun! I learned a lot.

[she didn't learn THAT much -- her fashion taste is still heinous.]

I bet Masquerain would be delighted by that. Golisopod, too!

[...]

Maybe not...Pinsir...

[golisolation]

Got any pictures from it?

[After all, that's part of modeling, right?]

But you ain't wrong, Pinsir would rather eat it than wear it. Ha! I bet Scizor would get a kick outta it, too. He's such a stickler for shit lookin' nice, himself included.

[fauxmarth]

He is? [she's genuinely surprised. Scizor seems so...uptight! but this is opening up new possibilities...]

If he'll concede, I can take the measuring tape to him, too. I'll have to get some ideas next time I'm out shopping.

[in any case, the next text is a photo of her in a handmade sweater themed for autumn and some leggings that do not match because of course.]

[golisolation]

I might needta talk him into it, but if he realizes it'll make him look slick, I can't imagine he'd be against it.

[He might seem a little...hesitant at first, and even after the fact, reluctant to admit his appreciation, but Guzma knows his bugtler very well.

But that picture...well, he thinks it's cute. Lucina's lack of coherent style is so her that there's no way he can't love it.]

You still got that sweater and leggings?

[fauxmarth]

[she's briefly distracted by the image of Scizor dolled up like a little butler. like Fredrick! aaa...

wait.]

Eh? Oh, um. [uhhh.] Not the sweater, no. Unfortunately, that went off with its maker. How come?

[golisolation]

Oh, it was cute is all. You looked good in it.

["Good" being relative, of course.]