💀 MoM IC INBOX 💀

[golisolation]

"Yo, it's the hated boss that beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up... Yeah, big bad Guzma is here—well, I ain't, actually. Leave a message and ya boy will get back at ya. Later days, dude."

TEXT / AUDIO / VIDEO / ACTION

Comments

[krookedcop]

[Knowing Guzma, he was afraid to realize that it was probably a sex thing. God. It had to be. The tone of his voice, the laugh. The fact that he doubted Guzma did any sport more extreme than beer bongs. Well, there was his regular exercise, but there was something lazy about him, too. Godammit Guzma.]

Sure. I'll always say yes to a beer. [He'd offer Guzma a smoke, but with all the spray paint fumes, he was sure they'd just ignite.]

[He then imagined Guzma trying to drink with the neck brace...]

So... You're seeing someone, then?

[golisolation]

GODDAMMIT, TUPP!

[Aaaand there's a slam of the fridge door, and soon Guzma returns with a scowl on his face.]

Little punk musta drank it all. [But after that little tantrum, he realizes what Nanu asked. His smirk returning in full force, now that he can focus on that, instead of how he's gonna suplex Tupp for drinking all his booze, the little shit goblin!]

Yeah, I am. I know that's probably disappointin' for ya, try not to be too jealous, huh?

[krookedcop]

[Nanu leans back slightly as Guzma yells into his fridge.]

I can get more if you have a corner store. [And he wouldn't be making the grave mistake of leaving Guzma in the same general space as his porn. God what a mistake that was.]

[Nanu gives him a wary, bewildered look. Of course he was just being a dickhead, but.] Jealous? Of what?

[golisolation]

Yeah, there's one 'bout a five minute walk from here.

[He doesn't answer that question immediately, instead making his way towards the couch so that he can ease himself down onto it. Honestly, it's a little pathetic how he has to move with that brace on his neck. He feels like an idiot, but at the same time doesn't regret what got him here.

Once settle, one arm resting on the back, man spreading like the douchebag idiot he is, he raises an eyebrow at Nanu.]

That you ain't the one who I'm seein', obviously.

[He really...doesn't know if Nanu's actually into men or not, but he likes to poke fun at the older man never seeming to be romantically involved with...anyone. He knows that it can sometimes be a sign of something—either being in the closet or depressed.

Tragically both, more often than not.]

[krookedcop]

Fine. I'll get some beer. You gonna need a straw, too?

[Little bastard. So what if he was gay and depressed? Guzma didn't have to go acting like he knew anything.]

Didn't know I was even in the running. So who's the lucky man, then?

[Nanu looked irritated, but he usually looked irritated. And if he was going to suffer this from Guzma, he may as well be a little buzzed. But he wanted to see if his jab connected before he ducked back out.]

[golisolation]

Tch... [For a moment he acts indignant at the question, but given a second to think about it—] ...Probably.

[Well, at least you typically get drunk faster drinking through a straw, or something. At Nanu's assumption that he's dating a dude, he lets out a chuckle, waving at him dismissively.]

You weren't, but who knows what's goin' on in that ancient head of yours, huh? Ain't no dude, though.

[A beat.]

WELL! I guess I am technically married to one. [MOVING ON] Anyway, he ain't who broke my neck. A chick did, doubt you know her, name's Lucina—she's a princess.

[As he says the last word, he bounces his eyebrows. His tone of voice so smarmy, it's almost filthy.]

[krookedcop]

No, no no. Wait, hold up.

[I'm sorry, Guzma, but you just metaphorically beat him with a baseball bat of ridiculous revelations.]

You're... Married to a man, but a woman, sorry, a princess broke your neck? Did she break it after finding out that she's dating a married man? When did you get married, and why technically? [Nanu's voice raised in volume and pitch with each successive question.]

And why didn't you tell me you married a guy?! Who is he anyway? And, no offense, but what's a princess doing with you?

[golisolation]

Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence there, bud.

[Of course Guzma doesn't sound bothered at all by this line of questioning, nor the thinly veiled insult at the end. He's just still sitting there, all calm and relaxed in his spot, like he's starting at an idiot who couldn't put together what two plus two was, and he held the answer.]

First off, yeah me and Archie—dunno if ya know him—got married right before you showed up. Didn't tell ya 'cos I keep forgettin' about it. So does he, probably the only reason we're still married, honestly.

[That...yeah.]

I said technically 'cos it ain't like we're in love or nothin'. We were just two drunk dumb fucks in Vegas, and apparently you can just get married there no problem, no questions asked—even if you're piss fuckin' wasted.

Wild, right?

[As he's explaining, he just looks...pleased as punch, gesturing with his hand to add emphasis to this and that, to wave off other things, etc.]

As for Lu—what can I say? She digs me, simple as that. But she didn't break my neck 'cos I'm married, nah. It's 'cos I was goin' down on her, and she's got super strength.

[His grin widens.]

You do the math.