golisolation | 💀 MoM IC INBOX 💀

[Lucina's attention is pulled to Golisopod, too, and for a second she looks surprised -- she forgot he was there for a while! but she smiles fondly despite the huff and puff, her brow pinched apologetically; it's probably not easy to nap when half-drunk people are spilling their guts and fumbling around like this.

at anyway, she looks back, and her eyebrows lift.]

What's that, then?

Back home--where you're from.

[He knows things are all doomsday and gloom, but...]

I guess, before everything went tits-up for you, did you have anyone? Or, even before I showed up, I know you've been here longer than me. I know I was your first in a lot of ways, but I wasn't ever entirely sure if that was just with kissin' and fuckin'.

[Maybe he could have put it less crudely like that, but he's several beers in, and so he's definitely more loose with his words.

It's not that he wants her to have had someone, but it's certainly something he wondered. Maybe not even a full on relationship or anything like that, but she's a princess... Usually royalty, or even just rulers in general have planned or arranged marriages. Did she have someone? Did she lose them? Did she leave them behind?]

[she blinks. as far as questions go, that's one questions he didn't expect. it brings fresh color to her face, and though her fingers twitch a moment, they stay laced with his.]

No, I...I didn't. [she bites her lip a moment, hesitating.

then:] For a little while, there was...someone who I thought, maybe...but. [she shook her head.] He vanished before I could ever make my wishes clear. But I had never kissed anyone before, let alone... [all the rest. she shrugs a little, looking away embarrassed.]

[Guzma watches her closely as she answers, not because he expects her to lie, but he likes taking in the subtle ways her face changes, how her emotions dance behind her eyes...

As her fingers twitch, he gives her hand a light squeeze, almost instinctively. When she finishes, looking away from him, he nods. Maybe more to himself, than her.]

That sucks that happened to you.

[Makes a lot of sense why she was so affected by his disappearing. Why she feels especially guilty over doing it herself. He doesn't wanna overly focus on that, though. It's a sore topic for them both, but for her especially.]

So...say if shit didn't get all fucked over in your world, would you hafta deal with that whole, uh, arranged marriaged thing royals are known for?

[she blinks.]

Ah...I...I'm not sure. [give her a second; it's been a long time since she thought about Ylisse in the geopolitical sense.]

Our western border was shared with Plegia...they're the ones who were seeking Grima's resurrection, so that's no. And Regna Ferox in the north... [she frowns deeper.] I think they cared far more about warriors than weddings. So as far as other countries go, I don't think I'd have had to worry about that, not unless something very dramatic had changed, perhaps...

[she can't fathom dealings with the countries west of the sea, and maybe that's a good thing; she wouldn't want to be bound to any of Walhart's ilk.]

[It's all a little weird imagining living like that. With kingdoms and political marriages. Alola's still got its dusty old traditions, but it's still pretty modern, not to mention the islands have been united for a long while now. It's only been fairly recently that Alola's opened up to the world and other regions, but even that's pretty peaceful.]

So you'd be able to just hook up with whoever, huh?

[Like...a commoner. A commoner like him...]

I think so. I mean...I'd probably be scrutinized no matter what I did, being who I was, but... [sheepishly, she scratches at her cheek with her free hand.]

My father got to choose. And so did my aunt! And she wed someone who wasn't of noble blood at all, so...so why not me?

[she laughs a little, shaking her head.]

But it's not like it's something you'd have to worry about here. [he thinks marriage is a joke anyway. ha.

ha......]

Huh... Didn't expect that. Your world seems like it'd be all about that with its love for tradition.

[He pauses at that last bit, and maybe he should know what she means, but like her, he's a bit tipsy, so...]

But wait, whaddaya mean?

[Dumb dumb thinks she's meaning the possible prejudice between a princess and a commoner being involved, not... marriage itself.]

[she smiles kind of lopsidedly, amused by the thought in her head that maybe her world was more keen on the tradition of love. that's a cute notion!]

Huh-? [she blinks, snapped out of that thought.] What? About...my aunt? Her husband?

No, not that!

[Lucina stop daydreaming about romantic notions for five seconds, jeez!]

What ain't I needin' to worry about here? Like, you meanin' the prejudices against people like you and people like me dating? 'Cos, hate to break it to ya, but people are hella shitty about that kinda crap still.

[Not as extreme, but there's a lot of judgmental people. Not that he cares, but he sees what people have said about them, he knows by the general societal view that he's more than unfit for her. Hell, even he thinks so, and while his reasons aren't fully because of that, he can't deny that is an allure to her in the fact she's of a higher social class than him.

Them power dynamics will be the death of him, honestly.]

Edited 2020-02-22 23:48 (UTC)

Wh-!

[she looks pretty bamboozled by that, blinking at him in confusion.]

That's...not what I was talking about? [right?? she's...pretty sure. did her mouth mess up??] I, I meant, because...you think...I mean, you think marriage is just--a, a joke, right? So, so why would you worry about it in another world?

Oh.

[That...makes sense.

He was asking about it because he was just curious about where her own standards came from, whether she was in line with how it works back there, or if she was working against the norm in being with someone like him. If she was pushing social boundaries, or if she was well within them.

That, and the fact she's so reserved a lot of the time about these things, he figured it'd be more strict, but apparently not. A lot of that hinged on the idea of marriage and what it should be, how it should be conducted, and with whom.

Caught a little off guard, he glances away from her, his face heated and not just because of the alcohol.]

I wasn't worried about it in another world, I just wanted to know what you thought of it...or your expectations of it, or whatever.

[Uh, god can he have a do-over here, he's not sure how to get outta this topic now without seeming like he's utterly dismissing the whole thing, and that's not fair to her. Especially when he brought it up in the first place.]

But you ain't wrong...I guess I just don't see the appeal, and maybe that's 'cos I'm jaded over Alola's moldy traditions and all of that...or it seems like some unnecessary pompous spectacle. I dunno.

[Like half of what he does couldn't be described as that?

He pauses, then glances at her a little sheepishly. He can't help but think about that conversation with Nanu, and even if he's no where near the right mental place or emotional maturity to truly consider that with anyone right now, he can't help but wonder...]

Is marriage all that important to ya?

[he's not the only one getting red in the face.]

It... It's not about spectacle. [she fidgets a little, uncrossing her legs and letting her feet dangle, crossed at the ankle. her fingers are curled against her jaw and chin for lack of place to be and a fidgety need to be doing something.]

It's the promise. And...the intention. It's...acting on words. To not just say to be there, but to be there, and. And friends and family hear it, too. It makes it loud and clear to everyone else, no...no misconceptions or guesses.

[she's not as drunk as she was at the onset, but still talking about things that move her...moves her. she gets a little choked up and misty eyed, and she's embarrassed for it.]

And it means there's...always going to be something to hang onto of the one you love most...even if they've gone far away.

[a ring, not a broken door or an empty room.]

But why's it gotta be that? That's what I don't get.

[He doesn't sound upset or annoyed, even if he's talking a little forcefully at the start.]

Why's it gotta be this big show—with all the stress and traditional Bulushit. Why's that the show of intent, and not the every day stuff that someone does? Anyone can fake a weddin', it's a whole lot harder to fake stayin' with someone.

[As he's speaking, he gesturing with his free hand, as if emphasizing his points somehow.]

I could go on the network right now and profess my feelin's about you, but it don't mean as much just 'cos we ain't all dressed up and followin' some script written by some dudes who arbitrarily decided that this is how you show your love for someone? Tch!

Edited 2020-02-23 01:10 (UTC)

[she fidgets again, starting to fluster. it's not fair to bring up a topic like this when she wasn't walking into this one prepared! pulling answers out on the fly is hard!!

after a little huff:]

Well, I...I don't know how it goes for where you're from, Guzma. But...but the celebration, even if it lacked sincerity, as you would suggest in some cases...it still brought people together. Gave them something to be happy about.

[pouting a little, she looks away.]

I-it sounds nice to me. To be able to...share that kind of happiness. And get so much good will in turn...

[her face gets redder as she mumbles:] ...And wear a dress like that...

[It takes him a second to realize how much he's taking a heaping insensitive shit on something that Lucina clearly cares about...and so he settles a bit, looking at her with a bit of guilt behind his eyes. Man, this sucks. Because like he told her before, he wants them both to be true to themselves, but this is just something that's hard to do that with.

She clearly wants to be married at some point, but Guzma's pretty sure he isn't the sort to get married. He's stubborn in his beliefs, sees the whole thing as silly, and maybe there's some anxiety around something so permanent. It's not like he's used to stability in any form, or not being able to run away if the need calls for it.

A divorce is hardly a quick process.]

...I guess that's fair, but maybe this whole conversation's a little silly.

[And in a horrible effort to give her some form of comfort, he adds:]

I mean, it ain't like you'd marry a guy like me, anyway!

Edited 2020-02-23 01:23 (UTC)

[her eyelid twitches, cheeks puffing up briefly as she bristles.]

O-only because you wouldn't bother to ask!

[that said, she wiggles her fingers free of his so she can fold her arms, drawing her knees up and digging her heels into the edge of the sofa, looking a bit too childish to be talking about grown things like marriage.]

...What?

[That...surprises him. Not just her taking her hand from his, but her admittance that...she wants...to...marry...him?? That's what she implied, right? It's only because he wouldn't ask, because he doesn't want it...

But she...does...

Guzma can't help but gawk at her for a long moment, his heart thumping in his chest. It's was a whole lot easier talking about this thing when he believed that he'd be outta the question in such matters. For all their promises to stay together, to be loyal, to see this future between them, he assumed there'd be an expiration date.

Not because he'd eventually leave her, but because he figured she'd eventually leave him. That she'd wake up and realize that he was just a stepping stone till she found someone better, someone more deserving of her affections. Someone more equal to her, and not just in the love that they showed and the loyalty they maintained, but in everything else he's lacking.

So there he sits, gawking at her, eyes wide with surprise, and looking almost more of a fool than she does with her child-like pouting.]

[she double-takes when she sees the flabbergasted look on his face, her own twisting with alarm.

oh no. did she break him? did she say something stupid?

...wait. what did she say? about--

oh.

right.

she gulps, clears her throat, then gulps again, drawing her shoulders up and looking away, the fluster telltale by her burning-red ear in view.]

But, but it's just a big joke to you, so I'd say no anyway! Because...I don't want to be part of...some. Some insincere parade. So. So you can put your mind at ease!

[yeah!!!

she is not at ease.]

But if I, if I meant it..?

[He's still looking at her like he's a Deerling in headlights, his voice hesitant and almost quiet. A clear uncertainty behind it, like he's afraid of the answer—regardless of what it might be.]

[frustrated:] Yes, of course! If you meant it! I meant every word I said before and now! Why would I refuse such an important thing?

[the answers are not obvious at all, not the way they are to Guzma. it just makes sense to her: she promised him over and over to be at his side, as he at hers.]

...Oh.

[He deflates in his seat, feeling...odd. Like, yeah, they talked a lot about loyalties and all of that, and even he knows that marriage isn't a totally permanent thing, especially not anymore...but to someone like Lucina?

That's...big, and he wonders if it's from her inexperience. He doesn't doubt her feelings or how intense they are, but he's a victim of his own emotions at times, how his passions (whether good or bad) push him towards impulsive decisions.

Would he just be a impulse driven mistake to her? Would he be a regret?

Running a hand through his hair, he looks away from her and off to the side, staring at nothing in particular.]

I know you meant what you said, but that's such an important thing to you. How can you be sure you wouldn't regret it?

I don't know.

[she's blunt, still sounding a touch annoyed by being prodded, but if she were truly put out, she'd stop responding outright. she wants to be heard on something like this, even if she doesn't feel as though she does.]

I can't...control the future. Even tomorrow, which is just hours away. I can only be sure of myself here and now.

[and she knows, remembering with a thump of her heart, that she'd say yes in a second. for as much as she loathes the pain of broken promises, she still craves the promise of sharing rings, sharing lives, the way her parents had. she is young, and her view of it all is still skewed from not knowing it herself, but she lacks the fear of it crumbling the way he does.]

[Silently he nods, not knowing what to do or say. The awkwardness is palpable, and he even looks a bit drawn in on himself. Like he's trying to make himself small, but that's laughably absurd, considering how big he is. There's a very real and strange fear within him that even he can't explain, but also guilt.

It's just another way he's going to fail her or disappoint her. Another way that'll push her away from him. He won't be able to meet her need for this, and she'll seek someone else. When it was just a self-hate fueled musing, that was different, but here it's all but confirmed: she's going to leave him eventually.

At least, in his mind, that's what this tells him. There's no way that he's more important than her ideals, than her beliefs...]

...But, you know, right here and right now, you'd regret never gettin' married at all, right?

[The words sound forced out and distant.]

[he's going off somewhere with her words again, and she has to look back over to get some sense of where he's taking them. but looking at him doesn't make it any more clear -- in fact, seeing the way he's changed tone and posture only adds to the puzzle; part of her expected him to just blow this all off -- this stuff and nonsense he doesn't buy into.

another part of her already knows better.]

...I don't know. [her voice is quieter, drained of the puffed-up irritation from earlier.] Right here and now...I'm still...I'm still just grateful to be here at all, the way I am.

The way we are.

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